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Life Is A Cabaret

‘Life Is A Cabaret’

Season 5, Episode 14 -  Aired April 9, 2019

David tries to avoid upstaging the opening night of Cabaret with news of his engagement to Patrick.

Quote from Moira

Stevie: Mrs. Rose, I'm sorry. I had an errand to run, and I got stuck in traffic on the way back.
Moira: Yeah, I've been calling you all day.
Stevie: I know, you told me to block everyone out today, so I left my phone at home, which I realize was a really big mistake. Oh, were you planning on taking my place?
Moira: Oh! Just dressed in theme to support, that's all. I think I'll um I'm going to go see if Jocelyn, uh, got the humidifier, excuse me. I just have to check on her.


Quote from Stevie

David: I thought you were upset.
Stevie: I was more upset that I had to drive to Elmdale today.
David: I also appreciate this burlesque-y get up.
Stevie: Excuse me. You're an almost married man, now.

Quote from Jocelyn

Jocelyn: Stevie. I'd ask if you could hold us up more, but I'm not a big fan of rhetorical questions.

Quote from Johnny

Johnny: You're engaged?
David: Yeah. Sure.
Johnny: Oh, David, that's so exciting! Oh, son, you deserve all the happiness... ["Cabaret" music begins] We'll pick this up later.

Quote from Moira

Johnny: Well, you dazzled tonight, sweetheart.
Stevie & Moira: Thank you.
Stevie: Oh, sorry, I don't know why I thought you were talking to me.
Johnny: Well, it was a huge hit, the crowd went wild. I was shocked!
Moira: Shocked?
Johnny: Amazed. I was amazed.
Moira: Amazed, yes.

Quote from David

David: Hi, everyone. Hi. I just, first and foremost, wanna say a big congratulations to Team Cabaret.
[all clap & cheer] The show was awesome, you guys were so, so good! Speaking of love...
Roland: Somebody got engaged!
David: Wow. Speaking of love, um, I'm so glad that you're all here, because Patrick and I have some very special news.
Jocelyn: You're getting married!
David: Jocelyn, I'm the one on the chair! Now, two years ago, I went to fill out some paperwork for a business license, and little did I know, that I would end up meeting the love of my- [cell phone rings]
Moira: God! Oh, it is me. Um, I'm sorry, David. Sorry, it's most likely press. I-I already know your engagement news.

Quote from David

Ronnie: So wait a minute, he's marrying you?
David: Okay, this shouldn't be so hard!
Alexis: Oh, my God, just spit it out, David!
David: Oh, my God, fine! I met someone who changed my life, and I don't know where I'd be without him. So yes, as we all know now, Patrick and I are engaged.

Quote from Moira

Moira: No! Nooooo!
Stevie: Oh, my God.
Moira: Nooooo!
Johnny: If it's a bad review, Moira, I wouldn't trust local critics.
Moira: No. No, they, uh... They shelved the "Crows" movie. [shuddering breaths] So it's- It's over. [whimpers] It's over. [crawls into the closet; sobs, whimpers]
Johnny: Nothing to see here, people. The party's over.

Quote from David

David: Okay. Yeah, you can leave your champagne flutes. Unless we still wanna do a toast? No. Oh, no? Okay. Everyone leave the champagne flutes, thank you. [Moira sobs]

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