Johnny: Now, I'm not staying long, I just came by to borrow some clothes.
Roland: Ah, okay. Honey, why don't you check your closet, and see if you got anything that Johnny can fit into.
Johnny: Look, Moira and I are going to a used car lot today, and I just need to appear more, um...
Roland: Official?
Johnny: Casual. Casual. You see, I've got a closet full of suits, but, uh, I don't wanna be taken advantage of because I'm overdressed, I need to look like I don't have money.
Jocelyn: But you don't have any money.
Johnny: Oh, I know I don't have any money, but I need to look like I don't have money.

Johnny: We made sure to order those products in time for the rollout.
David: What rollout?
Johnny: The Rosebud Motel rollout. New name, new branding, flowers in all the rooms. New custom towels, all part of the rollout.
David: Um, who taught you rollout?
Alexis: May have been me. Sorry.
Johnny: You know, other than your little blunder, it would've been a flawless rollout.
Alexis: Okay, you really need to stop saying rollout.

David: Okay so, as we all know, I think surprise parties are tacky, and far too often organized by well-intentioned people with very bad taste. But Patrick has always wanted one, poor thing. So I am throwing him a surprise party tonight.
Johnny: Well, David, these kinds of parties take time, and planning. Now, when I planned that Casablanca-themed party for your mother's 40th, I had to quarantine the camels for a month.

Johnny: Now, let me ask you, how many of you have stayed in a motel? Well, motels are small hotels without the golf courses in case you... [chuckles] Well, good-good-good. So you're familiar at least. Now, when I say "motel", what comes to mind? Uh, rundown? Unclean? Unsafe?
Tripp Campbell: Yeah, that sounds about right.
Johnny: Well, that's what I used to think. I always saw motels as a last resort, a dreaded pit stop. But I was wrong. Motels have the potential of offering a window into the unique charm of small town life. And that's exactly what the Rosebud Motel Group plans to do. Open that window and revitalize the classic roadside motel for a new generation. Turns out, a couple of coats of paint and dusting off some mid-century furniture can go a long way.
Stevie: That's right. We've seen a 400% increase in occupancy since we started marketing. And cleaning.
Johnny: And if this is what we can do with one motel, just imagine what we can do with 10,000. I'm not coming to you for charity here, I'm coming to you with an opportunity. There is value in these motels. And if you're wondering how I'm so sure... My family and I have been staying in a motel for the past three years. And I wouldn't trade our stay there for anything. That's how strongly I believe in this idea. As Stevie can attest, if my family can find peace and comfort staying at a motel, anyone can. And I can only wish that one day soon you and your families can experience the love and simple pleasures that come with staying even for one night... at a Rosebud Motel.
Johnny, Stevie & Roland: Where every stay feels like home.

Johnny: Well listen, I don't want to overstay my welcome, I'll keep things short and quick. Which reminds me of the last time I was in Roland's bedroom. Um, well, I-I wasn't in Roland's bedroom, but the- Ah! What was it, Ronnie?
Ronnie: Just sit down, Johnny.
Johnny: Well anyway, the punchline is, it was short and quick. [forced laughter] Anyway, I'm gonna quit while I'm ahead, folks.
Roland: I think it's a little late for that, pal.

Moira: Or you could go alone, John. Since you are the one who did not get the contract signed.
Johnny: Moira, Roland wants the family there tonight, so my family has to go tonight. Let me explain something about business.
Moira: Don't you dare.
Johnny: It's a dance. And sometimes you lead. And sometimes you follow.
Moira: And which are you doing now, John?
Johnny: I am leading, Moira.
Moira: In a Roland game, I think you're following.
Johnny: Following in the game but leading in the dance, right? And he thinks he's leading in the dance, but only because I've allowed him to think-
Moira: Are you listening to this?
David: Hmm?
Johnny: It doesn't matter. I'm leading.

Johnny: I don't hate you. I don't hate you.
Roland: Well, then, why do you have a problem with a sign that celebrates my family?
Johnny: It's not- It's just the way they're celebrating, that's all.
Roland: Okay, so now you hate my family.
Johnny: I don't hate your family.
Roland: Well then, what is your big fat problem with the sign?!
Johnny: It looks like your great grandfather's fucking your great grandmother right up the ass!

Johnny: Okay, can we all focus here? For a moment?! David has spent the last three days on a farm. With the Amish!

David: Okay, well, this is gonna be the opposite of that. We're inviting a select group of VIPs, and offering a 25% friends and family discount.
Moira: Well, that sounds meek.
David: Okay.
Johnny: Friends are getting the same discount as family? That doesn't sound right.
David: Well, that's what we're doing.
Johnny: Well, what if your mother and I go in and buy something together? Does that mean we get a 50% discount?
David: Why would you wanna spend less money at my store?

Johnny: Oh, you know what, Moira? Jealousy doesn't look good on you. Much like that mirrored jumpsuit you wore to Candy Spelling's 50th!
Moira: John!
Alexis: Oh, my God, Dad!
Johnny: Why don't you take it easy, Alexis, like you did with your education?
Alexis: Ugh!
David: [laughs] I mean, he's not wrong.
Johnny: Oh, look at David. Smart enough to get that joke, but not smart enough to stop wearing sweaters in the middle of summer.
Alexis: Burn, David!
David: Okay, here's why that joke didn't work.