Moira: Look at us, all being together.
Johnny: Yes.
Moira: [to Roland and Jocelyn] Jonathan and I were just saying, wouldn't it be fun to have the mayor and his wife over for cocktails and charades tonight!
Johnny: Yes. Tonight.

Johnny: Wow, it sounds like, um, quite the evening.
Moira: So whose pig do we have to slaughter to get an invite?
Jocelyn: Oh, my goodness. Well, um, we just didn't think that you and Johnny would wanna come, so...
Moira: Well, that's a touch presumptuous, Jocelyn. Why would we not want to be involved in a themed party in your yard?

David: Wow, Ted, the place is very new looking. Did you design the interior?
Ted: Oh, I wish! No, I found this website online that sells off old department store show rooms.
Stevie: So this whole room-
Ted: Just gets delivered, as is. This is the Bachelor's Den here, and then that's the Executive Dining Lounge that I got on Black Friday.

Jocelyn: Listen, I don't know if you guys wanna partake in this, because I'm sure your fancy dinner parties didn't have illegal substances.
Moira: Illegal substances. Amateurs. We had friends in the F.D.A, but-
Johnny: When in Rome.

Moira: I've been with these people before. I know them all.
Jocelyn: Wow, you've really been getting around town.
Moira: No, I was with them in my other life. I'm gonna tell you something. I'm from a small town, just like this.
Jocelyn: No, I'm not buying that.
Moira: It's true.
Jocelyn: Really? Why would you leave?
Moira: Oh, God, I couldn't wait to get out. I was dying there. Have you never dreamed? Of a life beyond?

Twyla: I had a best friend that hooked. She married one of her Johns on my birthday.
Alexis: Wow, so cool!
Mutt: It's not the time, Twyla.
Alexis: Um, Stevie, I don't think you're a big hooker.
Twyla: You don't talk all dinner, and now you're telling me I can't talk about Trixie?!
Mutt: I'm sorry, it's just I think sometimes you have a tendency to say the wrong thing, that's all.
Twyla: Is there a right time to talk about being a hooker?

David: Okay, so you're not like, raging mad at me, then.
Stevie: No. I think it's fair to say that neither of us have ever worked with a ceiling mirror before.
David: True.
Stevie: It was funny. And a little humiliating.
David: Yeah, I, uh, saw a lot of my body, and I didn't like it.

Johnny: Oh, hello again. Spending another night together?
David: Dad!
Moira: Oh, Stevie, I hope you're being smart.
Stevie: Oh, my God.
David: Oh, my God.
Moira: Because we can't afford a baby right now, and, let's be honest, neither can you!

David: Okay, well, I think it's about time that you two go to bed. Excuse me.
Johnny: David, I just want you to know that I support this. Not the fact that you're sleeping with a girl, which is great. But you know, I'd be just as happy if you were to bring home one of your guy friends.
David: What are you talking about?
Stevie: Excuse me while I just go draw a warm bath, and plug in my hair dryer.
Johnny: No, no, Stevie. You're a lovely girl, lovely girl. Bit of an edge, but you know, it's growing on me. David, I just want you to know that I endorse all your sexual encounters.

Roland: Hey, who turned off Don Ho?