Ted: You know, I'm actually having more fun at this party than I thought I would.
Alexis: How did you do it?
Ted: Well, I started by drinking all four of those peach schnapps that you left in my fridge...

David: Mmm! Hmm, I thought I was shame eating in private.
Jake: What is shame eating?
David: I don't think we have enough time for that tonight.

Bev: Who do you have to kill around here to get another bottle of this undrinkable wine?
Roland: I think it's good. I ordered the one with the highest alcohol content.

David: So Jake, um, do you drink red wine, or white wine?
Jake: I don't really drink wine. I'm more of a beer guy.
David: Right. Yeah. That doesn't help me much.

Jake: Well, I better get going. I've gotta get to the shop early tomorrow morning, so.
David: Oh, you work retail as well?
Jake: No, no. The wood shop. I make furniture.
David: Ah. Yeah. No, I did a lot of um I did a lot of wood working in high school. Yeah, uh, Christie McFadden accidentally nailed her hand to her paper towel holder, so that's-the lesson is just not to nail stuff-
Jake: [kisses David] You know, I'm a pretty open-minded guy. So why don't you stop by the shop sometime?
David: Okay.

Stevie: Where were you?
David: Where were you?!
Stevie: Some townies were trying to get us high, and we didn't want to offend them, because they're doing so well in life. Didn't want to burn a bridge.
Twyla: Actually, those boys did burn a bridge last summer. Luckily they don't get as bored as they used to.

Johnny: Smells like grass in here.
David: Oh, my God!
Alexis: Oh, my God! [as Moira starts to dance] Okay, this is not okay! What are you guys doing here?!
Moira: Shhh, Alexis! For once in your life- Shhhh!
Johnny: I don't care what snarky remarks you kids are gonna make under your breath, tonight we are dancing as a family.
David: What is happening?

Moira: Do you know your father and I hold great affection for the two of you? It may not always be obvious, but...
Johnny: Just say it, Moira!
Moira: We love you both very much.
Alexis: Love you too!
David: [as Moira looks to David] Love you too.

Moira: John, are you ready?
Johnny: Yes, sweetheart.
Alexis: Happy anniversary!
David: Congratulations on your ongoing love for one another. You did it!
Moira: Okay, kids, that's enough. You sound like the incestuous Bloomfields.

Roland: Oh, well then, I guess you don't want your present then, huh? [laughs] You wanna guess what your present is?
Johnny: No, I do not.
Roland: Dinner! We're gifting you a dinner!
Jocelyn: At the most exclusive eatery in Elmdale.
Roland: It's very hard to get a table. But uh, I pulled a few strings.
Moira: That sounds too good to- What's the catch?
Roland: No, there's-there's no catch, just every new council member gets a dinner, so.
Moira: Oh, how very civilized.