Roland: You know what I'll do? I'll leave 'em both here.
David: No! No, absolutely not! I have a meeting in half an hour with a potential big money client, and a rogue baby in my store does not present as polished, or professional.
Roland: He'll be fine. If he gets cranky, give him some applesauce.
David: Those are $10 a jar!
Roland: Okay. [exits]
David: Dammit! [Roland Jr. cries] No, I will not accept that.

Johnny: Well, Stevie uh can you run some towels down to room four?
Stevie: Why do I need to do it?
Alexis: Okay, what's the big deal? Just walk them over, and drop them off.
Johnny: Well, Alexis, if you must know, when I was checking Cheryl in this morning, I-I got a bit of a vibe.
Stevie: Ew, what kind of vibe?
Johnny: I think I might've gotten a whisper of desire.
Alexis: "Whisper of des-" Oh, my God! Please never use that phrase like, ever again.

David: Oh my goodness! We are so excited at the prospect of working with "Premium Parties".
Tina: Oh, that's very sweet.
David: Yeah, so as you know, we can source basically anything you need when it comes to party essentials. Gift bags, catering, Shaman-blessed crystals, artisanal Reiki gloves.

Tina: Oh, I didn't know that you had a little guy!
David: Yeah, his dad is just out right now, but he should be back any time. Oh yeah, they say that, and next thing you know, it's been an hour, am I right?
David: Yes. Yeah. They say it's an emergency, but is it really, Tina?
Tina: Yeah, so tell me the last time that watching the new "Fast and the Furious" was an emergency!

Jocelyn: Well, I think you deserve most of the credit. You know, watching you work with the actors today, I think it was pretty obvious that you should-
Moira: Reprise my role of Sally?
Jocelyn: Uh, maybe? But-
Moira: There's the age discrepancy. Bit of a challenge there. Although I did play Liesl Von Trapp at 50.

Jocelyn: Please, Moira. You'd be doing me a favour. I mean, it's either that, or you could call Mr. and Mrs. Tekenos and let them know that their daughter bit another student at school today.
Moira: I accept.
Jocelyn: Thank you, Moira! I am happily stepping down.
Moira: In title only. You will be there with me every step of the way, Jocelyn. Assistant directing.
Jocelyn: Assistant directing?
Moira: Mmm-hmm, some would argue it's even more responsibility than directing.
Jocelyn: What have I done? No!

Moira: David.
David: Hmm?
Moira: Perhaps your indigestion is caused by the speed with which you consume your food.
David: We should do breakfast more often, this is really fun.

Johnny: Hey, Stevie. [to female guest] Excuse me, I'll just be a minute. I just heard from Alexis that Ted's mom, Cheryl, will be coming in from Elm Ridge, and joining us for the weekend. So uh, I'd like to just keep an eye out for her, okay? She's a lovely woman, very striking, full-figured-
Stevie: Mr. Rose!
Cheryl: It's Cheryl Mullens.
Johnny: Cheryl!
Cheryl: Yes!
Johnny: Oh, I-I-I I didn't recognize you there for some reason.
Cheryl: Well, I lost 80 pounds, I changed my diet, and I started taking Zumba classes.
Johnny: Well, good for Zumba.
Cheryl: And you haven't changed at all, Johnny. Still as handsome as ever.
Johnny: Oh, well, there you go.

Johnny: Uh anyway, we're gonna put you in our best room, okay?
Cheryl: Aw!
Johnny: And, tell you what. It's on us, Cheryl.
Stevie: Is it?!
Cheryl: Thank you. You're a sweetheart. They don't make men like you anymore.
Johnny: Well, we try to treat people good. Try to treat good... [laughs] Have a nice room. Day! Day. Have a nice day in your room.

Moira: Jocelyn!
Jocelyn: What the- Moira! You really snuck up on me there. Those shoes do not make a sound.
Moira: Blame Wang.