Schitt's Creek Quotes

Schitt's Creek

Schitt's Creek

After the wealthy Rose family lose their fortune, they go to live in their one remaining asset, the small town of Schitt's Creek, which they bought as a joke two decades earlier.

Starring: Eugene Levy, Catherine O'Hara, Daniel Levy, Annie Murphy, Emily Hampshire, Chris Elliott, Jenn Robertson, Dustin Milligan, Sarah Levy, Noah Reid, John Hemphill, Karen Robinson.
Original Run: 2015-2020.

Quote of the Day

Sunday, September 20, 2020

Quote from Moira in The Hospies

Jocelyn: Okay, you're actively trying to prevent Alexis from auditioning here, and I don't want to get in the middle of some mother daughter competition thing...
Moira: Competition! Nothing of the sort. No, Alexis just doesn't have the life experience.
Jocelyn: Really? Because according to her stories...
Moira: Well, she's had her fair share of adventures, yes. But the role of Sally Bowles requires an actress who can mine a deeper, darker cave. A woman encumbered with secrets she will take with her to the tomb. Hence the high praise Gina Gershon and I received for the role.

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Quote from Moira in Roadkill

Johnny: When might we expect your daughter to show up? Because we do have a very busy day ahead of us.
Hank: Well, Baby's still sleeping. But if you wanna go and wake her up, tell her what happened, by all means.
Moira: Where is bébé's chamber?
Hank: [floorboards creak] Oh, there she is now. She's either up, or takin' a leak.
Moira: Either way, great progress for bébé.

Quote from Moira in Lawn Signs

Johnny: You took your signs? I didn't know you took the signs. Why would you take your own signs?
Moira: Well, I couldn't very well take Jocelyn's. That would be stealing and I'm running a clean campaign.
Johnny: You call this a clean campaign?
Moira: Politics 101, John. When you have limited resources, your best course of action is to create a stir. It's exciting. It's fun. It's like that episode of Sunrise Bay when I stole my own bébé.

Quote from Moira in The Olive Branch

Moira: After a glut of unasinous ideas put forth today, the room is suddenly bombilating with anticipation. Can we feel that? It's almost as though we're building towards some sort of inevitable climax.

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Quote from Moira in The Olive Branch

Alexis: Excuse me, this has nothing to do with the fact that I'm single. The singles market is very lucrative. Did you know, that there's a small town in Ireland that hosts a singles week every year, and it's become so popular, that they're able to subsidize their entirely yearly budget, just on profits?
Moira: It's a valiant first effort, Alexis, it is. But darling, do keep those wheels turning! As the Irish like to say, [Irish accent] it's a cinch to mash the Murphy where there's love.

Quote from Alexis in Family Dinner

Ted: Okay, good, because I've been thinking a lot about things, too.
Alexis: Like your proposal.
Ted: Yeah, the more I thought about it, the more it just didn't feel right.
Alexis: Yes! I agree!
Ted: Yeah, it came out of the blue, and you had a lot on your mind.
Alexis: Yes, Ted, yes!
Ted: So I think it may be best for us just to take some time, you know?
Alexis: Oh, my God, it's like we're sharing a brain!
Ted: Then in a few weeks, when we're settled, and more focused on each other, we try the whole proposal thing again. Hmm?
Alexis: Mmm-hmm...
Ted: Unless you were gonna say something else?
Alexis: No! [awkward chuckle] 'cause you and me... You and I... No, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh! It's-mmm! So uh, us, the "us" thing, and... Um... Whoa!

Quote from Moira in Murder Mystery

Moira: Exactly, David. You are bored, lethargic, and practically dripping with ennui!
David: Okay, that's a bit much.
Moira: I blame myself. I've set a standard of activity and engagement so high you don't even try.
David: Okay, I am on a much needed respite whilst in between jobs.
Moira: You are squandering your social capital. A taste-maker like you should be out there, tasting things!
David: Uh, I'm at the buffet, and there is nothing to taste!