[theme song for Know Ya Boo plays]
Tom: Hey, it's Tom Haverford back here with Know Ya Boo. Let's move to the next question. Where is your favorite place to smush ya boo? Donna!
Donna: Back of my Benz?
Tom: Let's check in with ya boo! Her said her Mercedes! [laughs] Jerry and Donna on fire.

Tom: Okay, welcome to the super awesome bonus lightning round. First question. Andy, who did your boo say makes the best mac and cheese in the universe?
Andy: [sighs] The universe? Ooh. Kraft?
Tom: April said... Andy!
Andy: Aw.
Tom: Best couple ever. You just won 50 points.
Andy: Wait, why? We got it wrong.
Tom: Next lightning round thing. Who is the number one Colts fan in the world?
Andy: Wait a minute. You set this whole thing up so I would be un-mad at you. Well, guess what, ain't gonna work.
Tom: You figured out April's trying to trick you. That's worth 100 points.
Andy: [laughs] Wait, no. Good-bye.

Leslie Knope: You were really great in that presentation today.
Ben: Oh, thanks.
Leslie Knope: I liked the stuff you said about Pawnee. That was really nice to hear.
Ben: You know, Pawnee is a really special town. I, uh, love living there. And, um... And I look forward to the moments in my day where I... I... where I get to hang out with the town and talk to the town about stuff. And the town has really nice blond hair, too, and has read a shocking number of political biographies for a town, which I like.
Leslie Knope: Oh, God.
Ben: I'm sorry. And I know we can get into trouble, but I-I... I can't take this anymore, and I feel like we have to at least talk about it. I mean, it's not just me, right?
Leslie Knope: No, it's not just you. Oh, God.
Ben: What? Are you... are...
Leslie Knope: Ugh.
Ben: Are you all right?
Leslie Knope: Perfect. I'm gonna go see a man about some porcelain, you know what I mean? I'm not buying cocaine. I'm going to the bathroom. The whiz palace, as I like to call it. And I'm not calling Ann, so...

Leslie Knope: [on the phone] Ann, we have a serious code Ben.
Ann: Well, it's not really code if you say his name.
Leslie Knope: He told me that he liked me, and I'm gonna go make out with him right now on his face.
Ann: That's awesome!
Leslie Knope: No, no, read me the script.
Ann: Seriously?
Leslie Knope: Yes!
Ann: All right. "Leslie, it's Leslie Knope from the Parks Department speaking to you through Ann Perkins, friend and beautiful nurse." Thank you. "Do not do anything with Ben. Be responsible, no matter how cute his mouth is. Your job is on the line!"
Leslie Knope: Shut up, Ann!
Ann: You wrote that.
Leslie Knope: No, you... then Leslie, Leslie, you don't know what you're talking about. I care about him very much, and I've had 2 1/2 glasses of red wine, and what that means is I'm gonna go make out with him right now, and it's gonna be awesome.
Ann: Yay!
Leslie Knope: No, you're supposed to talk me out of this.
Ann: [flatly] No, don't, stop.
Leslie Knope: Shut up, Ann, I'm doing it anyway.
Ann: Yay!

Chris: When Ben told me that you had won the bid, I was wildly ecstatic, and I had to come up here and celebrate with you. There is literally nothing in this world that you cannot do. So, what's the plan now? Should we take a long walk? [gasps] Mini-golf.

Leslie Knope: Good, I'm gonna go to bed.
Chris: Good night.
Leslie Knope: Good night.
Chris: [to Ben] Well, now I'm up. You wanna boggle?

April: [singing] You were in the pit We all were in the pit The pit I was in the pit You were in the pit We all were in the pit
Andy: What is this?
April: Living out my dream. Playing a show with the greatest band ever.
Andy: That's my guitar. You bought it back from Sewage Joe?
April: I actually stole it from his office, but whatever. He's a weirdo.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: Maybe April doesn't think that we're the greatest band in the world, but, man, she loves me, and I love her. So, you know, who cares.

Ann: Oh, I have a good idea!
Leslie Knope: What?
Ann: Why don't you ask him about his penis?