Andy: Last chance, Ron. The slots are finalized, but I can squeeze in ten minutes if a certain mister... [whispering] Duke Silver wanted to come out. Come on, Ron, it's gonna be so fun.
Ron Swanson: Thank you, Andrew, but fun or not, playing music is something I like to keep private, along with my family, my conversations, and my whereabouts at all times.

Tom: Hey. This is gonna sound weird. I'm looking for a guy named Duke Silver.
Bartender: Yeah, he goes on in a second.
Emcee: Ladies, ladies, ladies, it's just about that time. It's with the jazziest pleasure that I bring out for you, my man, Mr. Duke Silver!
Ron Swanson: Thank you, Dwayne. As always, it is a thrill to be here, during this witching hour with you lovely ladies. Now, relax, and let the Duke Silver Trio take you on a little journey to yourself. [jazz band plays Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is"]

Andy: Also, can you bring back Power Rangers? I don't know what it is you do, but you seem important enough to get that done.

Tom: Guys, this is the most important night of my life, which means it's the most important night of your lives too.
Craig: Speak for yourself. I once got into a cab that Kyra Sedgwick was getting out of.
Jean-Ralphio: No way, The Closer? Oof!

Leslie Knope: Ron, I have to ask you something, and I want you to consider it, okay? Really consider it. How would you feel about leaving Pawnee and moving to Chicago?
Ron Swanson: [laughing]
Leslie Knope: Hold on, come on, I'm not done. You'd be working for the federal government.
Ron Swanson: [laughing]
Leslie Knope: You know what, excuse me for wanting my dear friend and ethical mentor to accompany me on the adventure of a lifetime.
Ron Swanson: It's very sweet, Leslie, and the National Parks Service is probably the only branch of government worth a damn, but Diane and I are quite happy raising our family here. Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a booth over there serving something called, "fried sausage quilts," so I'm going to buy the booth.