Andy Quote #542
Quote from Andy in The Johnny Karate Super Awesome Musical Explosion Show
Andy: I don't give a crap, Batman. You work for me. Increase the perimeter!
Donna: Macklin, the President's called six times. If we don't get that guitar back, the peace in Iraq will be canceled.
Andy: Get off my back, Chief! I'm doing the best I can. I don't play by the rules. But I get results.
Donna: Dang it! You're right again, Macklin. And I'm sorry. You're the best agent I've seen. And I've worked with James Bond. This clue may help.
Andy: Mm.
Donna: It was left at the crime scene.
Andy: You're dismissed. This case just keeps getting deeper and deeper. I'm drowning in the adult end of the pool, and the lifeguard's off in the bathroom pooping. [laughter] That's good writing. Johnny Karate's guitar has been stolen. That instrument is worth literally $900 million. But more importantly, he can't play The Good-bye Song without it. So, by the time this show is over, I will find who stole it, and they will pay the ultimate price.
Perd Hapley: A one-way ticket to the Funky Monkey Dunk Tank!
Andy: All that and more, on The Johnny Karate Super Awesome Musical Explosion Show!
Features in the collection: Burt Macklin, FBI.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Burt Macklin, FBI’
Quote from Andy in Are You Better Off?
Andy: Good morning, colleagues, co-workers, friends. Everyone feeling normal... today?
[aside to camera:]
Andy: Here's what happened. I left my sweat shirt at Ron's cabin. When I went back to get it, I found this in the trash: Positive pregnancy test. Side note: I accidentally threw my sweat shirt away. That's why I was digging through the trash. Found that too. Pretty cool. So if my science is correct, one of the five women who were at the cabin - Leslie, Donna, Ann, Mona-Lisa, or April - is pregnant! Can't be April. She would've told me. That leaves four suspects. There's only one man for this job: Burt Macklin, FBI. They said I was retired. They said I was too dangerous for the Pawnee Police Department. Turns out they were right... and wrong. Macklin, you son of a bitch.
Quote from Andy in Born & Raised
Leslie Knope: Okay, Ben, Tom, you stay here, stay on Joan. Get that sticker. Chris, Andy, we're gonna stay on schedule, and we're gonna do some damage control.
Andy: All right. Everybody move! Move, move, move! This entire event is under federal jurisdiction.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: Unless he's in trouble, there's only one man for the job. Burt Macklin, FBI. You thought I was dead? [chuckles] So did the president's enemies.
‘The Johnny Karate Super Awesome Musical Explosion Show’ Quotes
Quote from Perd Hapley
Perd Hapley: "Now listen to some words from our sponsors," are the words I'm saying right now.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: Hire Very Good Building Company for your construction needs. Or do not. I am not a beggar. [long silence; checks watch] End of commercial.
Quote from Donna
Leslie Knope: And now it's time to celebrate Andy Dwyer's greatest creation, Johnny Karate. [kids cheer] He has brought so much happiness to so many children in southern Indiana that we thought a piece of Johnny Karate should stay here in Pawnee.
[Ron, as Duke Silver, plays a soulful rendition of Kung Fu Fighting]
Donna: [sings] Everybody was Kung Fu fighting
Leslie Knope: Raise it up.
Donna: Those kicks were fast as lightning
Andy: This is awesome. Can you believe it, babe?
Donna: In fact, it was a little bit frightening
Leslie Knope: That karate gi will stay here forever. Well, not here here, because this studio actually has a show where divorced couples work out their problems. So that might be weird if that thing was hanging over them. But it'll be somewhere. And the spirit will stay with us forever. Andy Dwyer's final good-bye when we come back.