Ron Swanson Quote #594

Quote from Ron Swanson in Ms. Ludgate-Dwyer Goes to Washington

Andy: Would she have an opportunity to practice any creative problem solving?
Ron Swanson: Creativity is for people with glasses who like to lie. Although, I suppose she could use creative ways to organize and stack the vinyl sheeting. No, that's insane. We use the Towsend method. It's tried and true.
Ben: I think this might be a dead end.
Ron Swanson: I think you might be right. But getting a good person out of government is a worthwhile endeavor. I will help, but first I'm gonna need some grub.


 ‘Ms. Ludgate-Dwyer Goes to Washington’ Quotes

Quote from Andy

Ben: I think that job's perfect for April. We just have to convince Barney to give her a shot. I mean, first problem, she's not as qualified as the other applicants.
Andy: Simple solution. I break into her college and I change her degree to accounting. Easy. On my way out, look up at the blackboard, what is that? Impossible math equation? I solve it. X equals Y, obviously. Professor comes up to me and says, "I've been working on that for 50 years. Why don't you accept this math trophy?" By the time he turns around, I'm gone.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: Come on, let me show you around. This is a door. These, of course, are walls. What else? What else? Ah! Meet our Vice President, Don Swanson. Don, this is Andrew and Benjamin.
Don Swanson: Pleasure to meet you.
Ben: Is this your brother? You have a brother.
Ron Swanson: No. Fine. Yes. I suppose the cat's out of the bag. I have a brother. One brother.
Ben: All those years together at the Parks Department and you never told us you had a brother.
Don Swanson: You worked at the Parks Department?
Ron Swanson: Tour's over!

Quote from Andy

Andy: Well don't fret, cookie. We've made progress, haven't we? We got a whole list of all the things you need out of a new job. Apple juice, barbecue sauce, Count Chocula-- Wait. Oh, sorry, that's the list of cool new nicknames I want people to call me.