Ben Quote #311
Ron Swanson: Leslie, don't humiliate yourself on television.
Leslie Knope: Swanson, what are you doing here?
Ron Swanson: This is the 27th version of the Pawnee-Gryzzl free wireless internet thing agreement. Check out the page I marked.
Ben: Yeah, "Gryzzl is not allowed to collect and use customer data for any purpose." It's pretty clear. See?
Ron Swanson: Look closer, amendment "C," addendum 14. It directs you to this appendix, which reroutes you to this one which says, in a sub-footnote...
Ben: It says here they can gather and use any information they want. How did I miss this?
Leslie Knope: Look at the revision date. December 18, 2015. That was the opening day of Star Wars: Episode VII. You were muttering that date in your sleep for months. They knew you'd be distracted. That's how they slipped it in.
Ben: I did this to the town. It's my fault. It's Ice Town all over again.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Gryzzlbox’ Quotes
Quote from Perd Hapley
Perd Hapley: Now, Leslie, I understand that what you've brought to the show isn't a box of objects, but rather a symbolic box of allegations.
Leslie Knope: Well, Perd--
Perd Hapley: It's Judge Perd.
Leslie Knope: Okay. Uh, I think there are certain questions about certain aspects of certain parts of this situation that require an evaluation about whether or not this is or is not a valid argument.
Perd Hapley: Extremely well-put.
Quote from Perd Hapley
Perd Hapley: To be honest, Judge Perd is stumped by this case. I've also misplaced my judge hammer. I cannot render a verdict here. Therefore, I must declare a mistrial, which is a term I've heard people use in the movies. Tap, tap, tap. Case ended.
Quote from Perd Hapley
Announcer: This is The Perdples Court, a legal debate show about issues facing residents of Southern Indiana. With your host, Judge Perd Hapley.
Perd Hapley: Tonight, on The Perdples Court, we will have the guests that have been booked for tonight's show. The plaintiff, Leslie Knope, who has some big allegations against Gryzzl. The defendant, Gryzzl Vice President Roscoe Santangelo. Who will win? I don't know yet. Which is what makes this a court show.