Ron Swanson Quote #553
Quote from Ron Swanson in Ron and Jammy
Ron Swanson: I made this Tammy de-programming kit in case I ever fell victim to her again. First, this is a chastity belt that I made by hand. It might be a couple sizes too big for you, but you can just pad it. The first step is to cut out all sex.
Councilman Jamm: That won't be necessary. We haven't done the deed yet. She lets me rub up against her leg sometimes.
Ron Swanson: Well, all the more reason to wear it. She knows she has that card left to play, and you best believe she will.
Leslie Knope: We're also gonna try a Pavlovian technique. Ron is holding Tammy's perfume, Girth.
Councilman Jamm: [Ron sprays perfume] Oh. Oh, smells good. [Leslie slaps Jamm] Oh!
Leslie Knope: Again.
Councilman Jamm: [Ron sprays again] Tammy. [Leslie slaps again] Oh! How many times are we gonna do this?
Leslie Knope: Until the bottle is empty. Again. Twice.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Ron and Jammy’ Quotes
Quote from April
Ben: Hey, April. How's it going?
April: Fine. Except hearing Joan talk about her passion and doing what you really love, like, totally freaked me out. Eight years ago, I accepted a random internship at the Parks Department, and then Leslie told me to do a bunch of stuff, and now I'm executive director of regional whatever... I don't even know what it means, and I never even asked myself if I even really like it. I mean, it's like what is my purpose in life? What do I even care about? My insides are dying.
Ben: So, not fine.
April: I don't know what to do. I have to quit.
Ben: To do what?
April: I'm just gonna go live under a bridge and ask people riddles before they cross.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] When it comes to Tammy, the code is the same as that of the battlefield: First, you leave no man behind. Second, you must protect yourself against chemical warfare. Tammy does not abide by the Geneva convention.
Quote from Donna
April: Donna, what do I do? If working around corpses isn't even right for me, then nothing is. I feel totally lost.
Donna: Saturn's return.
April: What?
Donna: Saturn's orbit around the sun takes roughly 29 years, and when it gets back to where it was when you were born, lots of turmoil, self-discovery. When I was your age, I got banned from every riverboat in Germany.