Ron Swanson Quote #555

Quote from Ron Swanson in Ron and Jammy

Councilman Jamm: Okay. Doors are locked. Window is secured. There is no way Tammy's getting in here.
Leslie Knope: [as Tammy] Jamm. Strip down, you sex maggot.
Ron Swanson: And hold!
Councilman Jamm: What was your mistake?
Ron Swanson: You didn't check the armoire. Tammy once camped out in my attic for six days awaiting my arrival. She survived on rats and rainwater. Let's run it again!

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 ‘Ron and Jammy’ Quotes

Quote from April

Ben: Hey, April. How's it going?
April: Fine. Except hearing Joan talk about her passion and doing what you really love, like, totally freaked me out. Eight years ago, I accepted a random internship at the Parks Department, and then Leslie told me to do a bunch of stuff, and now I'm executive director of regional whatever... I don't even know what it means, and I never even asked myself if I even really like it. I mean, it's like what is my purpose in life? What do I even care about? My insides are dying.
Ben: So, not fine.
April: I don't know what to do. I have to quit.
Ben: To do what?
April: I'm just gonna go live under a bridge and ask people riddles before they cross.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] When it comes to Tammy, the code is the same as that of the battlefield: First, you leave no man behind. Second, you must protect yourself against chemical warfare. Tammy does not abide by the Geneva convention.

Quote from Donna

April: Donna, what do I do? If working around corpses isn't even right for me, then nothing is. I feel totally lost.
Donna: Saturn's return.
April: What?
Donna: Saturn's orbit around the sun takes roughly 29 years, and when it gets back to where it was when you were born, lots of turmoil, self-discovery. When I was your age, I got banned from every riverboat in Germany.