Leslie Knope Quote #1477
Quote from Leslie Knope in One in 8,000
Leslie Knope: Our next item up for bid is the naming rights for our children's tent, so let's start the bidding at $1,000, please.
Councilman Jamm: I'll bid 100 bucks.
Leslie Knope: 1,000? Anyone want to-- Oh, thank you, madam. A very wealthy and elegant-looking woman with a diamond-encrusted eye patch just raised her hand. Don't look at her. She doesn't like attention, but she's there. She's real. So do I hear 2,000? Ooh, yeah, here we go. The sheik has thrown his hat into the ring. Well...
Councilman Jamm: There's no sheik.
Leslie Knope: It looks like we've got a real bidding war between...
Councilman Jamm: There's no bidding war. No one's talking...
Leslie Knope: An elegant--
Councilman Jamm: 'Cause there's no sheik, and there's no old lady with a diamond-- What is it, a diamond eye patch?
Leslie Knope: 3,000, says the gentleman...
Councilman Jamm: There's no 3,000.
Leslie Knope: With the crazy hat and a monkey on his shoulder.
Councilman Jamm: It's 100 bucks. It's my bid.
Leslie Knope: That is outrageous.
Councilman Jamm: That's the only bid out there right now. Naming rights for the kids' tent go to Jamm Orthodontics for 100 smackers. [bangs gavel] Now that is the steal of the day.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘One in 8,000’ Quotes
Quote from April
Ben: So what do we got so far? We need big-ticket items.
April: I got the Red Hot Chili Peppers to send us a signed guitar.
Ben: That's great, April. How'd you do that?
April: It's a long story, but the short version is, I'm currently catfishing Anthony Kiedis.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Okay, there's still plenty of ways to raise money for the concert, right? Maybe we'll win the lottery. I mean, hey, you're looking at a woman who just hit triple cherries in her uterus.
Ben: We're screwed.
Leslie Knope: No, we're not, we have three weeks until the concert. It'll be fine.
Ben: No, not the concert. The triple cherries. I mean, of course it's the most amazing and wonderful thing to ever happen, but, okay, I am an accountant, and I am looking a cold, hard facts. Raising three kids is going to cost $2 million.
Leslie Knope: Babe, our kids will be geniuses. They'll get scholarships. Half of my tuition was paid for by the Indiana scholarship for pretty blondes who like to read. It's now called the Virginia Woolf prize. Different time.
Quote from Donna
Ron Swanson: What are you doing?
Donna: I'm getting a picture of you volunteering at a public elementary school in case I ever need to blackmail you.