Ron Swanson Quote #490
Quote from Ron Swanson in Farmers Market
Chris: Hey, friends. I'm just about to go on my night jog. Would you like to join me?
Donna: Mm, hard pass. We're here because you need to tend to your woman. She's complaining about everything, ruining Whine & Cheese Club.
Chris: I literally have 1,000 questions. Why is Ron wearing headphones? What's Whine & Cheese Club? And what is Ann complaining about?
Donna: You, mostly. How you never let her vent because you're always too busy trying to solve everything for her.
Chris: She's upset that I'm trying to help her?
Ron Swanson: You've fallen into a classic trap, Christopher, trying to fix a woman's problems instead of just listening to what they are!
Chris: Why are you yelling?
Ron Swanson: Tom put all my records into this rectangle!
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Farmers Market’ Quotes
Quote from Ann
Donna: I'll cede my time to Ann. I have a feeling this is gonna be good.
Ann: Okay, well, I'm not gonna talk for long, 'cause I have to pee again, 'cause I have to pee every six minutes, 'cause I have a beach ball in my stomach that's punching on my bladder.
Donna: [chuckles] That sucks.
Ann: I know. And I'm never not hungry.
Jerry: Oh, well, have some cheese.
Ann: I can't have cheese, Larry! And I can't have wine either. I can't have anything good. You know, what I can have is liquefied flaxseed. But I don't want that. You know what I want? Pork rinds. I want jelly beans. And I want a huge trash bag filled with mashed potatoes. I want to be Pac-Man, and instead of dots, I want 'em to be cinnamon buns. I want to be a giant head and a mouth, and I just want to eat rows and rows of junk food pellets, and where's my trash bag of potatoes? [groans]
Tom: Time.
Donna: Yikes.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Ben, do something.
Ben: What do you want me to do?
Leslie Knope: Well, you're the city manager. Kick them out. They're violating every single one of the Farmers Market's rules of conduct.
Ben: By "rules of conduct," do you mean that wooden sign you made that says, "Peas be kind to others"?
Leslie Knope: Yes, and "In case of fire, romaine calm," and "You won't bay leaf how nice olive our vendors are." I don't like vegetables, but I'm very good at vegetable puns.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Ben: Okay, Harrison Ford movie night.
Leslie Knope: Before we do that, I was thinking more about that chard guy. I mean, it would be very easy for you to revoke their license.
Ben: Okay, Leslie, this is city business, and I'm not an emperor. I can't just kick them out for no reason.
Leslie Knope: The reason is it's vegetable porn. Porn on the cob. I'm sorry. I'm just very good at that.