Chris Quote #235
Quote from Chris in Farmers Market
Chris: Good morning, Ann Perkins. How are you feeling today?
Ann: Perfect. Except that I'm a whale and that my feet already kill.
Chris: [laughs] Whales don't have feet.
Ann: I am a crazy shape. This morning when I got out of bed, I just tipped forward like a poorly made bowling pin. Did I mention that my feet kill me all the time?
Chris: Oh! Let me rub them. Oh, wait. No. I read something on raddadsolutions.net that there's a pressure point in the foot that could induce labor.
Ann: Oh, it doesn't matter. I don't care. I'm gonna go choke down those horse pills I have to take every day.
Chris: Oh, no, no, I'll cut them in half for you. And I will pour you a glass of flaxseed milk to wash it down. Everything is amazing. Today is perfect, and I love you.
[aside to camera:]
Ann: Chris is so wonderful and thoughtful and positive. He's driving me up the [bleep] wall.
Chris: Smoothie's ready!
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Farmers Market’ Quotes
Quote from Ann
Donna: I'll cede my time to Ann. I have a feeling this is gonna be good.
Ann: Okay, well, I'm not gonna talk for long, 'cause I have to pee again, 'cause I have to pee every six minutes, 'cause I have a beach ball in my stomach that's punching on my bladder.
Donna: [chuckles] That sucks.
Ann: I know. And I'm never not hungry.
Jerry: Oh, well, have some cheese.
Ann: I can't have cheese, Larry! And I can't have wine either. I can't have anything good. You know, what I can have is liquefied flaxseed. But I don't want that. You know what I want? Pork rinds. I want jelly beans. And I want a huge trash bag filled with mashed potatoes. I want to be Pac-Man, and instead of dots, I want 'em to be cinnamon buns. I want to be a giant head and a mouth, and I just want to eat rows and rows of junk food pellets, and where's my trash bag of potatoes? [groans]
Tom: Time.
Donna: Yikes.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Ben, do something.
Ben: What do you want me to do?
Leslie Knope: Well, you're the city manager. Kick them out. They're violating every single one of the Farmers Market's rules of conduct.
Ben: By "rules of conduct," do you mean that wooden sign you made that says, "Peas be kind to others"?
Leslie Knope: Yes, and "In case of fire, romaine calm," and "You won't bay leaf how nice olive our vendors are." I don't like vegetables, but I'm very good at vegetable puns.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Ben: Okay, Harrison Ford movie night.
Leslie Knope: Before we do that, I was thinking more about that chard guy. I mean, it would be very easy for you to revoke their license.
Ben: Okay, Leslie, this is city business, and I'm not an emperor. I can't just kick them out for no reason.
Leslie Knope: The reason is it's vegetable porn. Porn on the cob. I'm sorry. I'm just very good at that.