Ron Swanson Quote #477
Quote from Ron Swanson in The Cones of Dunshire
Donna: [on the phone] No, thank you. I will let him know. That was that couple you liked at the open house.
Ron Swanson: I despised them.
Donna: Well, they just came back with a new offer and jacked that shizz up. Way over asking price.
Tom: Ron, who cares who they are? That's a massive bid. I'ma be a mogul.
Ron Swanson: I bought that cabin 18 years ago for $2,200. I do not care about the money.
Tom: I can't even understand what you're saying right now.
Ron Swanson: That cabin served an important purpose for me, as a quiet refuge from the nonsense of modern life. I'd like the next owners to understand and share that purpose. Find me someone like that, and I'll happily sell.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘The Cones of Dunshire’ Quotes
Quote from Tom
Tom: [aside to camera] The question I always ask myself is, what kind of mogul should I be? Fashion mogul, energy drink mogul. I even thought about downhill skiing. A mogul mogul. But a real estate mogul? Hmm. That's a hot mogul right now.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Tom: Video-Ron-demand. What you carrying, my dude?
Ron Swanson: The time has come to sell my cabin. But I haven't had much luck finding a buyer.
April: "For sale. Small house. Location: Forest." It's a little wordy, don't you think?
Donna: "Current owner will not clean up shotgun shells or animal carcasses." The hell is wrong with you, Swanson?
Ron Swanson: Fine, I'll clean up the shotgun shells, but the carcasses remain to fertilize my berry patch.
Quote from Ben
Ben: Presenting "The Cones of Dunshire," a brand-new gaming experience. 8 to 12 players. Two wizards, a Maverick, the arbiter, two warriors, a corporal, and a ledgerman. Now, the ledgerman just keeps score, and he wears this hat.
Leslie Knope: Oh, boy.
Ben: Now, the object is to accumulate cones. Four cones wins, but in order to get a cone, you have to build a civilization. The other amazing thing is the challenge play. Actually, let me tell you more about the trivia cards, 'cause you're gonna need to know about roadblocks first. Nah, never mind. The thing about the challenge play is that it's basically the game...in reverse. Then you roll three dice to see how many dice you roll with. Oh, 16. Perfect, lots of choices. Okay, each turn goes: Roll, buy, action. I mean, obviously, this would be much taller in the real game. But the corporal can veto. This should be green too. How did this happen? Are the cones a metaphor? Well, yes and no.
Leslie Knope: What is this called again?
Ben: "The Cones of Dunshire." Oh, my God, the Maverick should be able to trade lumber for agriculture credits. How have I not thought of this before? This is nothing, right?
Leslie Knope: When do you go back to work again?
Ben: Tomorrow. It's fine. I'll just throw this in the garbage.