April Quote #283
Quote from April in Gin It Up!
Tom: Okay, I'm just gonna man up, tell her how I feel, and hope she feels the same way about me, and that's that. If she doesn't, no big deal. It's done. I'm an adult. Let's do it.
April: Great.
Tom: Nope, I can't do it. New plan. Tell her all the screw-ups were your fault. I'll tell her I had to cover for you, because you are so dumb. Nadia! Good to see you. We're very sorry for everything you went through today. I have reserved the park for your event. Now, April has something she'd like to admit.
April: Tom wants me to tell you that all the screw-ups were my fault, but really, he kept messing up so that you would stay in Pawnee as long as possible because he is super into you.
Nadia: Okay. Several questions. Is any part of him British?
April: No.
Nadia: So, that was just weird, panicky dude behavior?
April: Yeah.
Nadia: Okay. I'm just trying to figure out if acting that insane is, like, romantic, or totally scary. I'll go with romantic. He is kind of cute. What's his deal?
April: He's sweet, he's cool, and you're, like, way out of his league, so there's literally no risk for you at all here.
Nadia: Okay. Well, I am going to Rwanda in, like, two weeks for my job, so, what the hell?
April: Cool.
Nadia: So, you want to go out with me?
Tom: Yes, please.
Nadia: Okay. Bye.
April: Okay, you owe me, like, 1,000 favors. See ya.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Gin It Up!’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: That's your will? You need that many pages to say, "Give my stuff to my wife"?
Ben: It's a complicated legal document.
Ron Swanson: It doesn't have to be. I've had the same will since I was eight years old.
Ben: "Upon my death, all of my belongings shall transfer to the man or animal who has killed me." What are these weird symbols?
Ron Swanson: The man who kills me will know.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: Death does not scare me. What I am worried about is spoiling my children. I don't want 'em to be the kind of people who never work, live off their trust funds, who buy their wooden furniture. I will leave my children $50 apiece for the cab home from my funeral and a steak dinner, end of discussion.
Ben: Okay. I mean, look, it doesn't matter how much money you leave your kids. What matters is that you teach them the right values. But, if something horrible happens, and you want your kids to be left alone with no safety net, just so they can learn some kind of weird lesson, then, by all means, leave your fortune to the wild boar who gores you to death.
Ron Swanson: I'd never lose to a boar. [dart hits board]
Quote from Ron Swanson
Trevor Nelsson: Mr. Swanson, let's begin by filling out this form, listing your assets and liabilities.
Ron Swanson: Nice try. I'm not telling you how much money I have, where it's hidden, or which precious metals and/or gemstones it may or may not take the form of.