Tom Quote #485

Quote from Tom in London (Part 1)

Tom: [aside to camera] Some mysterious big shot investor has opened up a store directly across the street from rent-a-swag to try to put me out of business. I'm not worried, though. I've poured my heart and soul into my store. I'm sure this guy's just looking for a place to store all his NBA championship trophies.
Trevor Nelsson: [o.s.] It's not LeBron James.
Tom: Damn.

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 ‘London (Part 1)’ Quotes

Quote from Ron Swanson

Leslie Knope: Okay, guys, we are going to be sightseeing today. Andy and Ben are gonna go to their meeting, and then we're gonna go back to the hotel for lunch, and I will spend the day getting to know London's history.
Ron Swanson: History began on July 4, 1776. Everything before that was a mistake.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] Diane suggested we "tag along to London" for a honeymoon. I agreed, because my love for her trumps my hatred for Europe. Then she hit a phase of morning sickness that knocked her for a loop and decided to stay home, but she insisted I go and take pictures for her. All of this could have been avoided if we'd followed my plan for a honeymoon: a steak dinner, a glass of Lagavulin whiskey, then vigorous lovemaking for two hours, and we're both asleep by 8:30.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: "London at night." [laughs] That is very funny.
Shopkeeper: Can I help you, sir?
Ron Swanson: Yes. I will take this.
Shopkeeper: We don't accept American currency, sir.
Ron Swanson: Of course you do. That's the most wonderful piece of paper in the world. Accept it.
Shopkeeper: Very sorry, sir.
Ron Swanson: Fine. Enjoy the fact that your royal overlords are a frail, old woman and a tiny baby.