Jean-Ralphio Quote #28
Quote from Jean-Ralphio in Are You Better Off?
Tom: So, I need to ask you something and I kinda wish Jean-Ralphio wasn't here.
Jean-Ralphio: Please tell me that you're dumping my sister, because I will laugh-- I will laugh so much.
Tom: Actually, it may be the opposite. Is this yours?
Jean-Ralphio: No, no.
Mona-Lisa: Yeah. It's mine. I'm pregnant.
Jean-Ralphio: Lemony Snicket. Oh, my God, are you serious? I'm gonna be an uncle? Is that a real thing? Is that gonna happen? No, no, that's too much-- Too much responsibility for me. I gotta--I gotta find another way out of this.
Tom: Well, I wish you told me. I mean, obviously, we need to talk about our future. Maybe I could sell the business, and we could use the profits to put a down payment on a house or something, or--
Mona-Lisa: Psych!
Jean-Ralphio: What?
Mona-Lisa: [laughter] Ah, ha, ha. Look at your stupid face.
Jean-Ralphio: You had a dumdum face.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Are You Better Off?’ Quotes
Quote from Donna
Leslie Knope: Donna, help me out. What makes Pawnee so great?
Donna: Cost of living is cheap. In about three years, I will have saved enough to pay off my condo in Seattle.
Ben: You have a condo in Seattle?
Donna: Yes, I like the rain and the fish markets.
Quote from April
Leslie Knope: Let's do an exercise. April, what makes Pawnee the best city in the world?
April: Easy. Most murders per capita. The guillotine was invented here. City Hall is run by the walrus mafia.
Quote from Andy
Andy: Good morning, colleagues, co-workers, friends. Everyone feeling normal... today?
[aside to camera:]
Andy: Here's what happened. I left my sweat shirt at Ron's cabin. When I went back to get it, I found this in the trash: Positive pregnancy test. Side note: I accidentally threw my sweat shirt away. That's why I was digging through the trash. Found that too. Pretty cool. So if my science is correct, one of the five women who were at the cabin - Leslie, Donna, Ann, Mona-Lisa, or April - is pregnant! Can't be April. She would've told me. That leaves four suspects. There's only one man for this job: Burt Macklin, FBI. They said I was retired. They said I was too dangerous for the Pawnee Police Department. Turns out they were right... and wrong. Macklin, you son of a bitch.