Jean-Ralphio Quote #29
Quote from Jean-Ralphio in Are You Better Off?
Tom: So you're not pregnant? This isn't yours?
Mona-Lisa: [bleep], no. Do you know how many different pills I take, birth control or otherwise? There is no way that I could be pregnant with a human baby.
Tom: Thank God. Yes! Tommy has his life back! Let's go!
Jean-Ralphio: What the hell is wrong with you, man? That's my sister. Nah! I'm just kidding, man. She's the worst. You dodged a bullet, baby. Congratulations.
Tom: Thanks.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Are You Better Off?’ Quotes
Quote from Donna
Leslie Knope: Donna, help me out. What makes Pawnee so great?
Donna: Cost of living is cheap. In about three years, I will have saved enough to pay off my condo in Seattle.
Ben: You have a condo in Seattle?
Donna: Yes, I like the rain and the fish markets.
Quote from April
Leslie Knope: Let's do an exercise. April, what makes Pawnee the best city in the world?
April: Easy. Most murders per capita. The guillotine was invented here. City Hall is run by the walrus mafia.
Quote from Andy
Andy: Good morning, colleagues, co-workers, friends. Everyone feeling normal... today?
[aside to camera:]
Andy: Here's what happened. I left my sweat shirt at Ron's cabin. When I went back to get it, I found this in the trash: Positive pregnancy test. Side note: I accidentally threw my sweat shirt away. That's why I was digging through the trash. Found that too. Pretty cool. So if my science is correct, one of the five women who were at the cabin - Leslie, Donna, Ann, Mona-Lisa, or April - is pregnant! Can't be April. She would've told me. That leaves four suspects. There's only one man for this job: Burt Macklin, FBI. They said I was retired. They said I was too dangerous for the Pawnee Police Department. Turns out they were right... and wrong. Macklin, you son of a bitch.