Tom Quote #481
Quote from Tom in Are You Better Off?
Trevor Nelsson: Tom Haverford, my name is Trevor Nelsson. I represent a client who would like to make you an offer.
Tom: Babyface heard my demo? I will accept a record deal.
Trevor Nelsson: No, you deeply misunderstand. My client has taken an interest in Rent-A-Swag. He'd like to know if you are looking to sell a controlling interest in the store.
Tom: Whoa, Diddy wants to buy Rent-A-Swag?
Trevor Nelsson: Not what I said.
Tom: This is a lot to process. Will Diddy be coming to the meeting?
Trevor Nelsson: I'm not at liberty to tell you who my client is. It would violate confidentiality.
Tom: I understand.
Trevor Nelsson: It's not Diddy.
Tom: Got it.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Are You Better Off?’ Quotes
Quote from Donna
Leslie Knope: Donna, help me out. What makes Pawnee so great?
Donna: Cost of living is cheap. In about three years, I will have saved enough to pay off my condo in Seattle.
Ben: You have a condo in Seattle?
Donna: Yes, I like the rain and the fish markets.
Quote from April
Leslie Knope: Let's do an exercise. April, what makes Pawnee the best city in the world?
April: Easy. Most murders per capita. The guillotine was invented here. City Hall is run by the walrus mafia.
Quote from Andy
Andy: Good morning, colleagues, co-workers, friends. Everyone feeling normal... today?
[aside to camera:]
Andy: Here's what happened. I left my sweat shirt at Ron's cabin. When I went back to get it, I found this in the trash: Positive pregnancy test. Side note: I accidentally threw my sweat shirt away. That's why I was digging through the trash. Found that too. Pretty cool. So if my science is correct, one of the five women who were at the cabin - Leslie, Donna, Ann, Mona-Lisa, or April - is pregnant! Can't be April. She would've told me. That leaves four suspects. There's only one man for this job: Burt Macklin, FBI. They said I was retired. They said I was too dangerous for the Pawnee Police Department. Turns out they were right... and wrong. Macklin, you son of a bitch.