Chris Quote #195
Quote from Chris in Jerry's Retirement
Donny: So here's the drill. Make a deposit in here. If you fill it up all the way, you get on the board. Then we take the sample, spin it in the centrifuge, and prepare it for fertilization.
Chris: Sounds romantic. I guess it's go time.
Ann: Go time! Wait, what am I doing? I don't go with you.
Chris: Oh, no, no. I go in alone with this pornographic disc and do it myself. And you stay out here and try not to think about what I'm doing in there. And I try not to think about you waiting out here trying not to think about me. Should I think about you? This is so weird.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Jerry's Retirement’ Quotes
Quote from Chris
Dr. Van Dyne: So we ran all your tests, and everything looks great. You might be the healthiest human being we've ever seen. You have the resting heart rate of a 100-year-old tortoise.
Chris: Yes, I get that a lot.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] I am putting together a scrapbook commemorating my first year on the city council. This year whizzed by so fast. There was so much more I wanted to do. But time is the relentless and cruel enemy of the devoted civil servant. It's actually one of the sub-titles of my scrapbook. Probably would've got more stuff done if I hadn't spent so much time brainstorming scrapbook titles.
Quote from Tom
Tom: Here are the last of the Animal Control reports.
April: What are you doing, weirdo?
Tom: Just trying not to spill anything.
Ron Swanson: I believe Leslie said to organize these by year.
Tom: Way ahead of you. I made two pile files. [laughter] Pilo fibles. Ugh. Filo pilos.
Andy: Filo pilos? That's not right.
Donna: Are you broken?
Tom: No, everything's fine.
April: Well, I guess that settles who the new Jerry is.
Tom: No, it doesn't! I barely even said it wrong.
Andy: Said it wrong.
Tom: Stop it! [laughter]
[aside to camera:]
Tom: This is how it begins. The next "Jerry." One screwed-up sentence, and 30 years later, I'm wearing aquamarine sweater vests and listening to Bonnie Raitt and The Da Vinci Code on my iPod. It's already started.