Chris Quote #188

Quote from Chris in Animal Control

Chris: She's not ready. Now, you've rushed her into this, and now, Jamm's sharpening the knives. Leslie, no one needs to be jammed today.
Leslie Knope: Okay, all we need is some kind of distraction. Grab that gavel and break your other foot.
Chris: I like the idea of double the signings, but I think the negatives outweigh the positives.

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 ‘Animal Control’ Quotes

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: I'd like to object again to being brought here against my will.
Ann: Okay, I'm just gonna double-check your form here. Ron! You redacted all the information.
Ron Swanson: I answered some of them.
Ann: For "date of birth," you wrote "springtime."
Ron Swanson: Which is true.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ann: Hey, you look better. I guess actual medicine can be effective. Who'da thunk?
Ron Swanson: Please leave me alone.
Ann: Not until we go over your test results and your blood work. Your blood pressure looks fine. I'm not sure how this is possible, but your cholesterol is 120, which is the lowest I've ever seen.
Ron Swanson: What's "cholesterol"?
Ann: And the only problem I see is that your potassium's low, so just eat a banana once in awhile.
Ron Swanson: No, thank you. I live the way I live, I eat the things I eat, and I'll die the way I'll die.
Ann: That's oddly beautiful... but also stupid. You're not alone in the world anymore, Ron. You're dating a woman who has two kids, so every three days, think about Ivy and Zoe and Diane, and eat a damn banana.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: Before you begin, a few ground rules. I need you to explain everything you do before you do it, so I can determine whether I will allow you-- [Dr. Harris puts a tongue depressor in Ron's mouth] Oh! Ugh! Balsa wood? You could at least use mahogany.