April Quote #246

Quote from April in Animal Control

Leslie Knope: Anyhoo, I nominated you for the position, and your confirmation hearing is in three minutes. Surprise.
April: No, I don't want the job. You can have your mud and blood back.
Leslie Knope: April, please, you will be so good at it. You are so good with animals.
April: Even if I wanted the job, I don't want to do the stupid confirmation hearing, okay? Stupid councilmen asking me stupid questions about my stupid life-- it seems stupid.
Leslie Knope: No, it's easy. They'll just ask you a few questions. Let's practice. What's your name?
April: Batman. See? I failed.

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 ‘Animal Control’ Quotes

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: I'd like to object again to being brought here against my will.
Ann: Okay, I'm just gonna double-check your form here. Ron! You redacted all the information.
Ron Swanson: I answered some of them.
Ann: For "date of birth," you wrote "springtime."
Ron Swanson: Which is true.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ann: Hey, you look better. I guess actual medicine can be effective. Who'da thunk?
Ron Swanson: Please leave me alone.
Ann: Not until we go over your test results and your blood work. Your blood pressure looks fine. I'm not sure how this is possible, but your cholesterol is 120, which is the lowest I've ever seen.
Ron Swanson: What's "cholesterol"?
Ann: And the only problem I see is that your potassium's low, so just eat a banana once in awhile.
Ron Swanson: No, thank you. I live the way I live, I eat the things I eat, and I'll die the way I'll die.
Ann: That's oddly beautiful... but also stupid. You're not alone in the world anymore, Ron. You're dating a woman who has two kids, so every three days, think about Ivy and Zoe and Diane, and eat a damn banana.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: Before you begin, a few ground rules. I need you to explain everything you do before you do it, so I can determine whether I will allow you-- [Dr. Harris puts a tongue depressor in Ron's mouth] Oh! Ugh! Balsa wood? You could at least use mahogany.