Jerry Quote #63
Quote from Jerry in Animal Control
Leslie Knope: So why do you want this job?
Jerry: Well, I love cats, and dogs sure are great.
Chris: Well, you have all the qualifications. You went to a four-year college.
Jerry: Actually, when I went there, it was just a two-year college.
Leslie Knope: Wow, so you're not even technically qualified to work at your current job.
Jerry: Aw, geez.
April: You're fired. Get out.
Chris: No, no, you're not fired, but we're definitely going to have to lower your salary.
Jerry: Oh, well, fair's fair.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Animal Control’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: I'd like to object again to being brought here against my will.
Ann: Okay, I'm just gonna double-check your form here. Ron! You redacted all the information.
Ron Swanson: I answered some of them.
Ann: For "date of birth," you wrote "springtime."
Ron Swanson: Which is true.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ann: Hey, you look better. I guess actual medicine can be effective. Who'da thunk?
Ron Swanson: Please leave me alone.
Ann: Not until we go over your test results and your blood work. Your blood pressure looks fine. I'm not sure how this is possible, but your cholesterol is 120, which is the lowest I've ever seen.
Ron Swanson: What's "cholesterol"?
Ann: And the only problem I see is that your potassium's low, so just eat a banana once in awhile.
Ron Swanson: No, thank you. I live the way I live, I eat the things I eat, and I'll die the way I'll die.
Ann: That's oddly beautiful... but also stupid. You're not alone in the world anymore, Ron. You're dating a woman who has two kids, so every three days, think about Ivy and Zoe and Diane, and eat a damn banana.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: Before you begin, a few ground rules. I need you to explain everything you do before you do it, so I can determine whether I will allow you-- [Dr. Harris puts a tongue depressor in Ron's mouth] Oh! Ugh! Balsa wood? You could at least use mahogany.