Leslie Knope Quote #1145
Quote from Leslie Knope in Emergency Response
Leslie Knope: Uh, if I could have everyone's attention please? I am so happy to announce that as of one minute ago, we have reached our fund-raising goal. [cheers and applause] Every dollar spent here tonight by you, the community, will be poured right back into this wonderful project. And speaking of community, I'd like to thank my community, my friends. It's a lesson that I have learned over and over again, but it bears repeating. No one achieves anything alone.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Emergency Response’ Quotes
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] Well, the planning commission has a week to decide if they want a beautiful, innovative community park or a bunch of greasy lard bombs. I'm not editorializing. Paunch Burger's number-one-selling burger is the Greasy Lard Bomb.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: This is Ron. Go ahead, caller.
Woman: [on the line] Hi. My Yorkshire Terrier has chewed up the legs on my kitchen table. Is there a cheap way to repair that?
Ron Swanson: Great question. Take a walnut and rub it into the legs of your table. That'll mask the scratches. Next thing you want to do is ditch the Terrier and get yourself a proper dog. Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless. Come to the gala. Next caller. [cut] Grapes of Wrath, chocolate-chip ice cream, and Johnny Cash. [cut] Don't trust big banks or small banks. Banks are Ponzi schemes run by morons. [cut] Your house isn't haunted. You're lonely. [cut] Whatever happened to, "Hey, I have some apples. Would you like to buy them?" "Yes, thank you." That's as complicated as it should be to open a business in this country. [cut] I've seen three movies in my life: Bridge on the River Kwai, Patton, and Herbie Fully Loaded. My girlfriend's kids love it. It's pretty funny. Next caller.
Quote from Chris
Chris: Okay, casualty update. Only four dead, two of whom were already gravely ill and brothers. That family took a terrible hit.
Leslie Knope: Well, that's great news.
Leonard Tchulm: Not so fast. I regret to inform you that someone in this room has begun exhibiting symptoms, Christopher Traeger.
Leslie Knope: What?
[aside to camera:]
Chris: A few months ago, the thought of an infectious disease, even hypothetical, would have sent me careening towards Bummerville, but now I am infected with a killer virus, and I feel fine. Therapy!