Ann Quote #162
Quote from Ann in Ann's Decision
Ann: Where'd you go to school again?
The Douche: Northwestern. I studied semiotics. Wrote a thesis on narrative forms in the digital world.
Leslie Knope: Then you became a morning shock-jock and created the sport "taint ball"?
The Douche: Yeah. You know, the Douche persona is something I came up with during college. It started as satire, and, you know, we snowballed to where we are today. I mean, I know it's a silly thing to do, but it pays the bills.
Leslie Knope: Well, I think, you probably need to get back to the studio, play some fart jokes, make fun of some immigrants.
The Douche: Actually, a farting immigrant segment would be really funny. Ay dios... [blows raspberry, laughs] Good looking out, Leslie. You guys ever want to do this again, sans clothing, give me a shout.
Leslie Knope: Gross.
The Douche: That was the Douche talking. Honestly, good luck on this project. It sounds really interesting. I'm gonna scan a quick pic of them boobies for a little deposit in "El banco de spanko." That was the Douche talking. Douche nation.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Ann's Decision’ Quotes
Quote from Ben
Ben: You know what? I'm gonna go with the first place. I really loved that appetizer.
Chris: Oh, the mini-calzone?
Ben: I wouldn't call it that. It was more like a savory pastry. Delicate little dough pocket filled with tomato sauce, cheese, and seasoned meat. Just a stunning culinary innovation.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: It was a calzone.
Chris: It was literally just a small calzone.
Quote from Tom
Ben: Okay, so I liked number one, Chris liked number two, and Ron liked number three. Tom, what about you?
Tom: Caterer number one's presentation was simple, mm, yet exhausting. Number two's was subtle and provocative, like a coy Dutch woman guarding a dark secret.
Ben: Nothing you're saying is helpful.
Tom: But number three's told a story. A story from a book I wouldn't read but I would watch the movie of.
Ben: [sighs] That's nonsense.
Quote from April
April: Hello, everyone. I'm April Ludgate from the Parks Department. And welcome to a public forum about the Pawnee Commons. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said to Betty Ford... "Hillary Clinton is great." Now, if you all would kindly look under your chairs, you will find a special surprise, a flyer with details about the project, and friendship bands that I've made for each and every one of you. So now, I guess we're Park Pals.