April: [aside to camera] This is Stacy Knoblauch's house. I went to high school with her, and she was super mean to me, and now I know that she dyes her hair. I knew that wench wasn't naturally blonde. Oh, my God! She has to use prescription-strength deodorant. This is the best day of my life.

Paula Horke: Government was a real boys' club back in the '70s. They smoked their cigars, they snapped my bra, wore mirrors on their shoes to look up my skirt.
Leslie Knope: Well, I am happy to report that it is now a pervert-free people's club.
Ann: Well, except for Councilman Dexhart, who's a self-described pervert.
Donna: Yeah, and didn't Milton try to kiss you?
Leslie Knope: Well, yeah, things aren't perfect.

Dewey: Bakery called this in. Needs to go on that truck right there.
Leslie Knope: Ah, easy, breezy, beautiful. That's the Covergirl slogan. I didn't mean to say that.