Councilman Jamm Quote #9

Quote from Councilman Jamm in Two Parties

Leslie Knope: Oh, my God. Tweep. I tweeped. I called Tweep.
[cut to:]
Councilman Jamm: Look, I'm telling the truth here, lady. We haven't found any American Indian artifacts. Or regular Indian. Japanese, Muslim, Jewish, none of those weird countries.
Shauna Malwae-Tweep: Weird countries?
Leslie Knope: Shauna Malwae-Tweep. Wow, I'm so glad that you're here. [chuckles] What's going on? Nothing?
Construction Worker: Found something! There's other stuff too. Arrowheads, more pottery. I also found some weird-looking gummy candy.

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 ‘Two Parties’ Quotes

Quote from Ben

Leslie Knope: What are you losers doing for your bachelor party?
Chris: I told Ben he could do whatever he wants. Sky is the limit. We have Haverford, Swanson, Dwyer, Jerry forced his way in there somehow, things are bound to get crazy.
[cut to:]
Chris: The game is Settlers of Catan. The object is be the first to build a civilization on this fictional island.
Tom: I can't believe this is what you want to do for your bachelor party.
Ben: Look, guys, we don't have to play this game if you don't want to. I mean, I'm nationally ranked, so it isn't even really fair.

Quote from April

April: Is this gonna be one of those cool bachelorette parties where things get out of control and we murder someone, and then we all have to take a blood oath to never reveal our secret?
Ann: No.
April: Then I might have to leave early.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Bartender: Here's your Bud light.
Andy: I ordered a beer.
Bartender: That is a beer. And here's your Nimbus Martini. May I go ahead and chisel your aromasphere?
Tom: Please!
Ron Swanson: This is the wrong way to consume alcohol.