Perd Hapley Quote #17

Quote from Perd Hapley in Sex Education

Marcia Langman: Perd, we strongly believe in teaching and practicing abstinence.
Marshall Langman: [camp voice] We all have some crazy urges from time to time, but you just can't act on them. You have to bury them way down deep inside. You have to say, "Get out of here, you crazy urges! You are not welcome in this brain of mine!"
Perd Hapley: There are some statistics that I'd like to share with you now, and they are numbers. Some 85% of Pawnee residents support abstinence-only education.
Marshall Langman: And the other 15% are perverts. J.K., you guys. [laughs]
Perd Hapley: And 100% of Pawneeans are "Perd-verts." That's the name I call fans of this show based on the fact that my name is Perd. We'll see you after the break, Perd-verts.


 ‘Sex Education’ Quotes

Quote from Tom

Tom: Wikipedia, mankind's greatest invention. You can learn about anything. Take Ray J, for example. We all know he's a singer, he's Brandy's brother, and he was in that classic sex tape with Kim Kardashian, but did you also know he's Snoop Dogg's cousin and he was in the '96 Tim Burton movie Mars Attacks? Suddenly, you're on the Mars Attacks page. I love GChat. You can talk to anybody. I hit up Brad.Pitt. It wasn't the actor. It's actually a guy named Brad that's a teacher in Pittsburgh. We don't have a lot in common, but we chat quite a bit. "Emoji" are little cartoons you text instead of words. Instead of saying, "What up, boo?" You can type "What up," and then a cute, little ghost, 'cause that means "boo." There's even a little Indian guy, but he has a turban on, which I think is racist, but the Asian guy also has a racist hat on, and it's like, "Hold up, didn't Japanese people invent this?" Podcasts. There are a million of 'em, and they're all amazing. Jean-Ralphio and I have one called "Nacho Average Podcast," where we rate different kinds of nachos.

Quote from Tom

Ron Swanson: Yeah, I have a new idea. You need to purge all of this garbage from your system. Talk about all the things you do on those screens, and let the words just float away into the fresh air, and then we will be done.
Tom: Okay, worth a shot. Every day I start by hitting up Facebook, Twitter, tumblr, and Instagram. Sometimes I like to throw in LinkedIn, for the professional shorties.
Ron Swanson: See? That was easy.
Tom: Then I like to go on reddit. Reddit's great, 'cause it has all the important links you need.

Quote from Jerry

Tom: Oh, my God, Jerry, when you check your email, you go to Altavista and type "Please go to"
Jerry: Well, how else would I do it?
Tom: You don't have your email bookmarked? Do you have any bookmarks?
Jerry: What's bookmarks?
Tom: God, Jerry! You don't deserve the Internet!