Ben Quote #135
April: I actually think you look really good, except for the stick up your butt.
Ben: Who do you think drew it? Was it Nathaniel? Ellis? Man, I feel like these interns do not respect or like me at all.
Andy: Honestly, you could loosen up a bit on the font stuff. [sighs] And everything in general.
Ben: God, this is insane. They're interns. They're totally replaceable, and I'm their boss. Just fire them. [on the phone] Uh, hey, Jen. Listen, I'm having a problem with some of the interns. I'm thinking of making some changes. Yeah.
[aside to camera:]
Ben: Turns out Ellis is Congressman Murray's nephew. Nathaniel is related to Donald Rumsfeld. Brittany's dad is Ben Bernanke's dentist. Every single one of these little twerps is seriously connected. So, new plan. Instead of firing them, I am going to kiss their asses like crazy.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Soda Tax’ Quotes
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: [aside to camera:] My first act as a city councilwoman? I've proposed a tax on all those giant sugary sodas so we can discourage people from drinking them. I believe, with my help, all local restaurants can get healthier. Paunch Burger, Big and Wide, The Fat Sack, Colonel Plump's Slop Trough, which was formerly Sue's Salads until we ran that out of town.
Quote from Ben
Ben: Hey, everybody. So, I've been going over your reports. Let's try to be consistent with our fonts, guys, okay? There's a crazy amount of random font differences in these memos.
April: Yeah, people. Consistent font usage. Come on.
Ben: Times New Roman, across the board. No Geneva, no Garamond, definitely no Papyrus.
April: Papyrus? Are you kidding me? There's no place for that in a professional office setting.
Ben: Yes! Thank you, April.
[aside to camera:]
Ben: These college interns really need to be whipped into shape, but don't worry, because they call me Devo, 'cause I can "whip 'em good."
[back:]
Ben: And obviously make sure the content's perfect too. Oh, and, uh, 12 point. 13's just obnoxious. Great meeting.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: Ah, councilwoman. In honor of your never-ending quest to personally babysit each and every American citizen, I went to Paunch Burger and got myself a Number two. Double Bacon Grenade Deluxe, hash browns, chili cheese fries, and one poached egg.
Ann: Ugh! Number two is right.
Ron Swanson: I also picked up a 64-ounce Sweetums Sugar Splash. Damn it, I love this country so much.