Ben: Gin and tonic, please.
Ron Swanson: Belay that order, Dana. Lagavulin, neat. Clear alcohols are for rich women on diets. What's on your mind, son?
Ben: Well, Jen Barkley offered me a job in Washington. A great job, but I think Leslie wants me to stay. What would you do?
Ron Swanson: Well, I've never been one for meeting new people or doing new things or eating new types of food or traveling outside of southern Indiana. I've had the same haircut since 1978, and I've driven the same car since 1991. I've used the same wooden comb for three decades. I have one bowl. I still get my milk delivered by horse.
Ben: You do?
Ron Swanson: But you and Leslie like to hold hands and jump off of cliffs together into the great unknown. [shudders] You two have a good relationship. I don't personally know what that's like, but I'm given to understand that means you're going to land on your feet.

Andy: So dream jobs, go. Dream big, kid!
April: Fine. Uh, dental hygienist who's also a medium, so I can clean people's teeth and tell them when they're going to die.
Andy: That's brilliant.

Tom: Party starts at 7:00 in the historic Jermaine Jackson Ballroom at the Pawnee Supersuites. It is no longer "A Pimps n' Hoes" pajama party. That idea was nixed by a certain uptight nerd who shall remain nameless. By ten we should know who won the election, but more importantly, tonight, Ann and I are getting back together.
Ann: Oh, right, because of the dream you had?
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Last night at approximately 2:30 A.M., I woke up from a dream that felt so real that it had to be a premonition. Me, Drake, and the T-mobile girl were playing baccarat on a private jet. Ann Perkins walks up to me, and she says, "Tommy, tomorrow night, I'm taking you back." Then Blue Ivy Carter high-fived me and gave me $40 million. It was all so real.