Andy Quote #266

Quote from Andy in Campaign Ad

Dr. Harris: So, Andy, tell me what happened.
Andy: I was reading an encyclopedia, and I tripped or "fell over" and hit my head or brain helmet.
April: Yeah, he sneezed and smacked his head against the wall.
Dr. Harris: That sounds about right. Well, if it's a concussion it's extremely mild, so I wouldn't worry about it. Anything else bothering you?
Andy: Nope.
Dr. Harris: Okay.
Andy: Well, I mean, yeah, I've got a weird rash in my knee pit area. And my tongue, on this side, doesn't taste anything anymore. Sometimes when I walk my ankles make, like, a weird rattlesnake sound. What else? Things that are far away from my eyes are fuzzy. I once at a Twix with the wrapper on it, and I've never seen the wrapper come out. Also I've swallowed every piece of gum that I've chewed for the past 25 years.
April: Andy!
Andy: I don't know. I broke my thumb on the way over here. Just fix me.
Dr. Harris: Well, I can help you with the thumb. And I'll have to give you referrals for specialists for the other thousand things.

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 ‘Campaign Ad’ Quotes

Quote from Andy

Andy: E, h, 4, m. Potato shape. Coffee mug shape. Smudge, smudge, middle finger, smudge. The rest are all smudges.
April: Oh, my God, you drove us here.

Quote from Andy

April: Hey, Ann, are you still a nurse or did they fire you because you slept with all the doctors?
Ann: You wanna try that again?
April: Hey, Ann, are you still a nurse? Because Andy's not feeling well.
Ann: What's wrong, Andy?
Andy: Just got a headache. And I'm seeing double. And I got a song stuck in my head, and my teeth hurt. Also I'm hungry.
Ann: Okay, well, some of those things are symptoms and some of them are just being a person.

Quote from Tom

Ben: It's not a negative ad. We're stating facts about him, and, yeah, they happen to be negative because he's a bonehead.
Leslie Knope: Well, I wanted to run an ad that highlights the good things about me, not the bad things about somebody else. Tom, you are our communications director. Weigh in here.
Tom: Leslie, I love your idea. I also love your idea. Two great ideas, two great people.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: I don't know which idea's better, but I do know I'll end up on the winning side. When I bet on horses, I never lose. Why? I bet on all the horses.