Andy Quote #252
Quote from Andy in The Trial of Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Okay, guys, we need to counter every charge that Chris has leveled against me. Andy, I need evidence.
Andy: Got it!
Leslie Knope: Wait! You don't know what evidence.
Andy: Ah, right on. Yes. Hit me.
Leslie Knope: Next to my desk is a picture of a female politician, Bella Abzug. Get the key that's taped to the back of that picture. It opens up my bottom desk drawer in there are some files. Pay attention. Where are you looking? Look here, focus here. Get the files in the drawer, and then get all the file boxes in the office.
Andy: Put the files in the drawer. Let's go.
Leslie Knope: No.
April: Okay, I'll go with him.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘The Trial of Leslie Knope’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: April! Listen, I was trying to buy this hand-crafted mahogany wood model of a B-25 Mitchell Panchito aircraft.
April: Aw, for me?
Ron Swanson: Don't sass me. And I went to this website, and this ad popped up that said "Hey, Ron Swanson! Check out this great offer."
April: What's your question?
Ron Swanson: My question is, what the hell?
April: Like, how did they know who you are?
Ron Swanson: Yeah.
April: Okay. Um, there are these things called cookies, where, like you go to a site and buy something, it'll remember you and then create ads for other stuff you might want to buy.
Ron Swanson: So it learns information? About me? That seems like an invasion of privacy.
April: Dude, if you think that's bad, go to Google Earth and type in your address.
[After looking at Google Earth, Ron goes outside and throws his computer in the dumpster]
Quote from Donna
Chris: I have here a receipt from Pawnee Supersuites Motel. Leslie Knope submitted that receipt for reimbursement. Taxpayers' money is not meant to be spent on a romantic getaway.
Leslie Knope: Donna, will you please describe what we were wearing the evening you saw us?
Donna: Um, khakis and button-down shirts, your basic white people clothes.
Leslie Knope: And when you walked into the room, what did it look like? Did it look like anything romantic had happened?
Donna: Oh, hell, no. I have ruined my share of hotel rooms, and trust me, nothing sexual happened in that room. It kind of looked like an office.
Quote from Chris
Chris: Leslie Knope! Good morning! It is snowing outside. Isn't that great?
Leslie Knope: You seem like you're in a good mood.
Chris: Actually, I'm quite miserable. I admire and respect you, and dragging you through an ethics trial is filling me with sadness. I have never felt so low.
Leslie Knope: Well, you're radiating pure joy.
Chris: I went to my herbalist and got two B-12 shots. And then I ate an unreasonable amount of St. John's wort, and my herbalist took this weird bee pollen paste rubbed it around my gums. And now my mouth feels like a spaceship.
[aside to camera:]
Chris: This is stressful. And stress leads to depression. And if I don't maintain an extremely high dosages of herbal remedies, I will get very depressed. Oh, God. It's happening right now.