Joan Callamezzo Quote #17
Quote from Joan Callamezzo in Born & Raised
Joan Callamezzo: When I was 18, Val Kilmer saw me at a mall and told me I should model.
Tom: [gasps]
Ben: That never happened.
Tom: So, Joan, how is married life treating you? Your husband still know he's the luckiest man in the world?
Joan Callamezzo: Santino and I are divorcing.
Tom: Oh.
Joan Callamezzo: It's actually quite liberating. I'm a woman with a strong sexual appetite. I'm like a caged peacock, yearning for the wind on her haunches.
Ben: That's a powerful metaphor.
Tom: Maybe we can get that book club sticker in order, and we can work on unlockin' that peacock cage.
Joan Callamezzo: Things have changed, Tom. Don't make any promises you can't keep. I'll have another drink, and so will this adorable hunk of caramel to my right. Drink up, Tom. I'm gonna go powder my nose... Amongst other things. [chuckles] If you know what I mean. [trips] Crap.
Ben: Is she gonna powder her vagina?
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Born & Raised’ Quotes
Quote from Tom
Tom: [sings] I'm tryin' to find the words to describe this girl Without bein' disrespectful
[aside to camera:]
Tom: Getting the book into Joan's book club will really help Leslie. But it'll also help my company, Entertainment 7Twenty. At the risk of bragging, one of the things I'm best at is riding coattails. Behind every successful man, is me, smiling and taking partial credit.
Quote from Ben
Tom: You gotta help me, man.
Ben: Why? Seems to be going the usual amount of gross.
Tom: No, this is way different. She's not married anymore. She had, like, five bottles of alcohol, she's callin' me "caramel." You've gotta throw some cold water on this situation. Start talkin' about nerd stuff.
Ben: You know, nerd culture is mainstream now. So when you use the word "nerd" derogatorily, means you're the one that's out of the zeitgeist.
Quote from April
[aside to camera:]
Ann: Well, I've made a little progress. I'm up to four seconds with April.
[back:]
Ann: Hey, April. I was looking to get some new music, and I was wondering if you could recommend anything.
April: The Internet.
[later:]
Ann: I really like your haircut. W-w-where'd you get it?
April: Prison.
[later:]
Ann: How's your sister doin'?
April: She has the shingles.
[later:]
Ann: Who's your favorite character on Sex and the City?
April: Alf.