Ben Quote #64
Quote from Ben in I'm Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: I know I've been acting really weird lately, and, um, I really like you. What I'm about to say is gonna contradict the idea that I really like you, but that won't change--
Ben: So just open the box.
Leslie Knope: Please stop bringing out the box, okay?
Ben: Leslie.
Leslie Knope: You're being really nice, and what I'm about to say is gonna make you hate me.
Ben: Okay, then I'll just open the box for you.
[The box features a campaign badge for "Knope 2012"]
Leslie Knope: Wow. You knew?
Ben: I figured it out a while ago. I'm sorry. I should've told you I knew. But I just- I wanted this to last as long as possible. We have to break up.
Leslie Knope: Why? Why do we have to break up?
Ben: Well, Leslie, everything you've accomplished, you have earned and you have worked for. I don't want anyone to think that you got where you are today by sleeping with your boss.
Leslie Knope: But I really like sleeping with my boss.
Ben: Yeah...Yeah. Okay, look. I'm gonna make this real easy for you. Um, it's not you, it's me. I'm not ready for a commitment. I just don't like you anymore. I know it's hard to hear that, but... You're boring, and frankly you disgust me. Echh!
Leslie Knope: How did you figure it out?
Ben: Leslie, there was a dude in the ladies' yacht club.
Leslie Knope: Yeah, but I covered that pretty well.
Ben: Also, you've been making campaign speeches in your sleep. Granted, you always do that, but they got really specific and moving.
Leslie Knope: Did I have a good opening line?
Ben: It was simple, but I liked it.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘I'm Leslie Knope’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: Hello, Tammy.
Tammy One: Ronald.
Ron Swanson: That's enough small talk. What do you want?
Tammy One: You remember what I do for a living, I trust?
Ron Swanson: Yes. You ruin people's lives.
Tammy One: You're being audited, Ronald.
Ron Swanson: I don't care.
Tammy One: Then why is your mustache trembling? I'm here as a friend. Call it nostalgia. Or perhaps guilt for all the times I tried to smother you in your sleep.
Ron Swanson: I don't need your help.
Tammy One: Wrong. You do. But as you're so fond of saying, it's a free country. Good luck. I hope you don't go to jail. [to April] Sit up straight. You're not doing your breasts any favors.
April: Thank you.
Andy: Hi. Your breasts look amazing.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: You know, when I was 12, my brother shot me in the pinky toe with a nail gun. Granted, it was a hilarious prank, and we all had a good laugh.
Leslie Knope: That's awful.
Ron Swanson: But I avoided going to the doctor. I hate paperwork. After a few weeks, the toe just kinda fell off. Leslie Knope: You only have nine toes?
Ron Swanson: I have the toes I have. Let's just leave it at that. The point is the doctor said if I had come in right away, they might've saved the toe. You can't run away from your problems.
Leslie Knope: Especially if you only have nine toes. Sorry. That was uncalled for.
Ron Swanson: I'm Ron Swanson. And you're Leslie [bleep] Knope. You with me?
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: Okay, so now you're sure that everything is okay, you know, down there?
Dr. Harris: You're perfectly healthy.
[aside to camera:]
Dr. Harris: That man has the largest penis I have ever seen. I actually don't even know if he has mumps. Forgot to look. I was distracted by the largest penis I have ever seen.