Jerry Quote #32

Quote from Jerry in I'm Leslie Knope

Jerry: Okay, so now you're sure that everything is okay, you know, down there?
Dr. Harris: You're perfectly healthy.
[aside to camera:]
Dr. Harris: That man has the largest penis I have ever seen. I actually don't even know if he has mumps. Forgot to look. I was distracted by the largest penis I have ever seen.


 ‘I'm Leslie Knope’ Quotes

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: Hello, Tammy.
Tammy One: Ronald.
Ron Swanson: That's enough small talk. What do you want?
Tammy One: You remember what I do for a living, I trust?
Ron Swanson: Yes. You ruin people's lives.
Tammy One: You're being audited, Ronald.
Ron Swanson: I don't care.
Tammy One: Then why is your mustache trembling? I'm here as a friend. Call it nostalgia. Or perhaps guilt for all the times I tried to smother you in your sleep.
Ron Swanson: I don't need your help.
Tammy One: Wrong. You do. But as you're so fond of saying, it's a free country. Good luck. I hope you don't go to jail. [to April] Sit up straight. You're not doing your breasts any favors.
April: Thank you.
Andy: Hi. Your breasts look amazing.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: You know, when I was 12, my brother shot me in the pinky toe with a nail gun. Granted, it was a hilarious prank, and we all had a good laugh.
Leslie Knope: That's awful.
Ron Swanson: But I avoided going to the doctor. I hate paperwork. After a few weeks, the toe just kinda fell off. Leslie Knope: You only have nine toes?
Ron Swanson: I have the toes I have. Let's just leave it at that. The point is the doctor said if I had come in right away, they might've saved the toe. You can't run away from your problems.
Leslie Knope: Especially if you only have nine toes. Sorry. That was uncalled for.
Ron Swanson: I'm Ron Swanson. And you're Leslie [bleep] Knope. You with me?

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: So did you get a chance to look at my sample position papers? How do you feel about my stance on Egyptian debt relief?
William Barnes: Uh, well, it probably won't come up in a local City Council election. But your thoroughness, as always, is impressive.
Leslie Knope: Thank you.
William Barnes: Now, we have three months. I think we should start talking strategy.
Leslie Knope: My strategy is to win.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: I've been dreaming about running for public office my whole life. While other girls were playing with Barbies, I was playing with a Geraldine Ferraro action figure that I made myself from a picture of her that I glued onto a popsicle stick.