Ron Swanson Quote #209
Quote from Ron Swanson in Li'l Sebastian
Ron Swanson: What the hell, Leslie? I thought I was supposed to lay the ceremonial wreath.
Leslie Knope: Why is Councilman Howser doing it? Because you are doing something better. You are lighting the memorial flame, which is the greatest honor of all.
Ben: Oh, my God. Ron, congratulations.
Leslie Knope: I saved it for you, Ron.
Ron Swanson: Who caught you guys?
Leslie Knope: A very nosy maintenance worker, and we talked to him, and now we're all friends, and he's not gonna tell on us. It's totally fine.
Ron Swanson: I think if you would know one thing about me, it would be that I prefer laying wreaths to lighting torches.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Li'l Sebastian’ Quotes
Quote from Andy
Leslie Knope: We'd like to encourage everyone to buy our merchandise. All the proceeds will go towards Li'I Sebastian's favorite charity, the Afghan Institute of Learning. Next, we have a special musical tribute by Mr. Andy Dwyer.
[aside to camera:]
Andy: What's 5,000 times better than a candle in the wind?
[back:]
Andy: This song is called 5,000 Candles in the Wind. [plays guitar and sings] Up in horsey heaven Here's the thing You trade your legs for angel's wings And once we've all said goodbye You take a running leap and you learn to fly Bye-bye, Li'I Sebastian I miss you in the saddest fashion Bye-bye, Li'I Sebastian You're 5,000 candles in the wind [crowd applauds]
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] When I walked in this morning and saw the flag was at half-mast, I thought, "All right. Another bureaucrat ate it." But then I found out it was Li'I Sebastian. Half-mast is too high. Show some damned respect.
Quote from Tammy Two
Tammy Two: Two of my lovers in one place. What a coincidence.
Ron Swanson: Tammy.
Tammy Two: Hello, Ron. Ooh, what happened here? And more importantly, does the carpet match the face?
Ron Swanson: If you're looking for trouble, take it somewhere else. An hour ago, a giant fireball consumed my entire face. And it was far preferable to spending another second with you.
Tammy Two: Tell that to your pants-tent.
Ron Swanson: It's just the way I'm standing. Go back to the library, where you belong.