Tom Quote #266
April: This question is gross.
Tom: That's kind of the point. What's your answer?
April: In our bed, I guess.
Tom: Andy? Where's your boo's favorite place to smush?
Andy: At the Neutral Milk Hotel. [canned audience "Awws"]
April: Get over it.
Andy: No, you get over it. You like some other dude's band more than me. Do you even think that Mouse Rat is the greatest band in the world? 'Cause it's starting to not feel that way.
April: That band is really important to me, and, honestly, I've asked you to listen to them, like, a million times, and you never have, so...
Andy: 'cause their music is sad, and depressing, and weird. And art is supposed to be happy and fun, and everyone knows that. You know what? Whatever. Forget it. [audience groans]
April: Fine, forget it.
Tom: Damn! This game's got juice.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Road Trip’ Quotes
Quote from Tom
Tom: Here's the sitch. I developed a dope new game show where I ask couples scandalous questions, and they have to guess what the other one answered. I call this Know Ya Boo.
Jerry: Oh, that sounds like The Newlywed Game.
Tom: Shut up, Jerry! It's not The Newlywed Game okay?
[aside to camera:]
Tom: It is totally The Newlywed Game. But big deal. Everyone steals. My favorite movie is Love Don't Cost a Thing, with Nick Cannon, which is based on Can't Buy Me Love, which is based on Kramer vs. Kramer or something, which I think was Shakespeare. Don't know, don't care.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: Look, little girl, can we postpone this for another day? It's unsettling having you just sit there.
Lauren: But my report's due tomorrow.
Ron Swanson: What's it on?
Lauren: Why government matters.
Ron Swanson: Really?
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: It's never too early to learn that the government is a greedy piglet that suckles on a taxpayer's teat until they have sore, chapped nipples. I'm gonna need a different metaphor to give this nine-year-old.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: What's your name, ma'am?
Lauren: Lauren Berkus.
Ron Swanson: Lauren, my name is Ron Swanson, and I'm gonna tell you everything you need to know about the miserable, screwed-up world of local government.
Lauren: You have mustard in your moustache.
Ron Swanson: Don't sass me, Berkus. Let's get started. "Life, liberty, and property." That's John Locke.