Tom Quote #254
Lindsay Carlisle Shay: Wow. I didn't expect to see the whole Parks Department here, although it is, sadly, one of the nicest spots in town.
Leslie Knope: I am so sick of this, Lindsay.
Tom: Wait, Leslie. I've got this. You listen to me, Lindsay Carlisle Shay. Why don't you take your fancy dog, get in your escalade? And if you have any job openings, maybe you should let me know about 'em.
Ben: Come on, man.
Tom: No! I'm sick of being treated like I'm not willing to relocate to Eagleton, because I am! So here's what you could do, lady. Take this resume and shove it into your human resources slot.
Andy: [laughs] Oh, yeah! Shove it there!
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Eagleton’ Quotes
Quote from Tom
Tom: [aside to camera] People in Eagleton are straight up mean to us. I would never set foot over there. But it's the only place that I can get my bumble and bumble hair care products, so I'm there every eight days.
Quote from Donna
Tom: They put up a fence.
Leslie Knope: Who? [gasps] No!
Andy: What's that?
Leslie Knope: There's a small park on the line between Pawnee and Eagleton, and...
Tom: Last night Eagleton put up a fence around their side to keep us disgusting Pawnee hobos off their precious land. There's even a security guard. You got to show Eagleton I.D. to get in.
Donna: Eagleton is a bunch of rich snobs. And that's coming from someone who has a Mercedes with a Harman Kardon Logic 7 surround-sound system.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope: Happy Birthday, Ron.
Ron Swanson: Ann said you had a big party... sombreros, karaoke.
Leslie Knope: Yeah, I did that for Ann. Why would I throw Ron Swanson an Ann Perkins party?
Ron Swanson: What about the giant list of things April was doing?
Leslie Knope: That was just a list of ways to mess with you. She do 'em all?
Ron Swanson: She did indeed.
Leslie Knope: So I have rented Bridge on the River Kwai and The Dirty Dozen. [cork pops] Artie from security is outside the door, so no one will bother you. And a cab will be here whenever you're ready to take you home.
Ron Swanson: Thank you.