Leslie Knope: Well, luckily, I'm heading up there. I'll invite him out to dinner and I'll poke around a little bit.
Ann: Okay.
Leslie Knope: I mean, he's not gonna be able to keep anything from me. In high school, they used to call me Angela Lansbury. But that was because of my haircut.

Ron Swanson: This isn't a steak. Why would you call it that on your menu?
Waiter: I don't know what to tell you, man.
Ron Swanson: Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I worry what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of bacon and eggs." What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have." Do you understand?

Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] I couldn't care less about the commendation. But Indianapolis is home to Charles Mulligan's Steakhouse, the best damn steakhouse in the damn state. I have taken a picture of every steak I've ever eaten there. June 2004. Porterhouse, medium rare, Béarnaise sauce. January 2000. They call this one "The Enforcer." February '96. The steak, rib eye. The whiskey, Lagavulin 16. The lady next to me, a bitch. Specifically, my ex-wife, Tammy. Okay, this is the first time I ever went there. Oh, look at me. I'm just a kid.