Ron Swanson Quote #150
Quote from Ron Swanson in Media Blitz
Ron Swanson: Why are you working the permits desk? And why was that child clubbing your nuggets?
Andy: I'm trying to stop April from taking a job with Chris, so I'm doing everything she hates doing for the next month.
Ron Swanson: That's going to work?
Andy: She said it might. But it's all I got, man.
Ron Swanson: Give me the list. I'll help you.
Andy: Oh, my God. Thank you. [hugs Ron] You got it.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: No, I don't care about their relationship. I just don't want to lose April. I would never be able to find a worse assistant.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Media Blitz’ Quotes
Quote from Ron Swanson
April: Okay, somebody's got to do something. I'm getting a cluster headache.
Jerry: Oh, whoa, whoa, he's leaving.
Tom: Let's go. I'm gonna throw it away. No, I'm not. It weighs a billion tons.
Jerry: What is he typing anyway?
Donna: "If you sons of bitches try to remove this typewriter, I'll kill you."
[Everyone scatters as Ron returns:]
Ron Swanson: I'm gonna type every word I know. Rectangle! America! Megaphone! Monday! Butthole.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] I found this typewriter next to the courtyard dumpster. An old Underwood Five with original carriage return. [typewriter dings] Ah. I took her home, polished her up, and bought a brand-new ribbon off of electronicBay.com.
Quote from Leslie Knope
Ben: Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but these interviews are more important than we thought. Harvest Fest is two weeks away, and awareness is still pretty low.
Leslie Knope: Boy, 35%.
Ben: It's actually 34.2%.
Leslie Knope: [robotic voice] 34.2%. I am Ben, the numbers robot.
Ben: It's just an exact, uh, calculation.
Leslie Knope: [robotic voice] It is just an exact calculation.