Ron Swanson: Under my tutelage, you will grow from boys into men. From men into gladiators. And from gladiators into Swansons. Behold. The Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: I've been developing the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness for years. It's a perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement. Categories include:
[back:]
Ron Swanson: Capitalism, God's way of determining who is smart, and who is poor. Crying, acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon. Rage, poise, property rights. Fish, for sport only. Not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable. Haircuts. There are three acceptable haircuts. High and tight, crew cut, buzz cut. Are the scissors broken in your house, son?

Leslie Knope: Ron, we're back.
Ron Swanson: Bully.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: The bankrupt government of Pawnee has been shut down all summer, so it's been three months of no work, no meetings, no memos, no late nights, nothing. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Leslie Knope: Gentlemen, I realize that times are tough, and the budget is tight. But if the people of this town have nothing else to do but sit in their houses and play video games, then Pawnee will die. And we refuse to let that happen. [whispers] Now. This town was historically known for two things. [Chariots of Fire theme plays] Widespread obesity and the annual Pawnee Harvest Festival. People from all over Indiana would come and gaze in wonderment at how fat our citizens were. And while they were here, they would also attend the festival. A full week of corn mazes, hayrides, ferris wheels, pumpkins the size of jeeps. We lost that festival a few years ago, due to another round of budget cuts. And I propose we bring the festival back. With ticket sales and corporate sponsorship, we'll earn all that money back. And believe me, people will come.
Ben: What if they don't?
Leslie Knope: Well... Then you eliminate the Parks Department.
Ben: And you guys are all on board with this.
All: [murmurs of agreement]
Leslie Knope: Look, we're not just pencil pushers. We are a reflection of the community. And we believe that we can strengthen that community. Because in the end, the reason why we're all here is to bring people together.