Ben: With current and projected deficits, we need to cut expenditures by 32%.
Ron Swanson: Let's make it an even 40.
Ben: Oh, that's not necessary.
Ron Swanson: [chanting] Slash it. Slash it.
Florence: Ron, a lot of people are going to lose their jobs. Do you mind trying not to gloat?
Ron Swanson: Yes. I do, Florence. I do mind that. I'm very excited about that. I made penants.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: I am an official member of a task force dedicated to slashing the city budget. Just saying that gave me a semi.

Chris: Ann Perkins!
Ann: Chris...Something.
Chris: Hi! I was just doing my daily lunchtime ten miles, and I ran by the hospital, and I thought I'd pop up and say hi.
Ann: Did you just start your run?
Chris: No, I'm already at mile nine.
Ann: But you're not sweating at all.
Chris: I know. I have a resting heart rate of 28 beats per minute. The scientist who studied me said that my heart could pump jet fuel up into an airplane.

Chris: Ben, there was a big concert? Now there's not? Isn't there anything that we can do about that?
Ben: No, there isn't.
Chris: It's too bad. Sorry, Leslie. Damn! I have to go run ten miles.
[aside to camera:]
Chris: I have run ten miles a day for eighteen years. That's 65,000 miles. A third of the way to the moon. My goal is to run to the moon.