Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] I could not be happier about this. I think the entire government should be privatized. Chuck E. Cheese could run the parks. Everything operated by tokens. Drop in a token, go on the swing set. Drop in another token, take a walk. Drop in a token, look at a duck.

Ann: [aside to camera] Generally, I like to stay out of other people's business. But Pawnee is the fourth most obese city in America. The kids here are beefy. They're just husky, big-boned, plus-sized chunk monsters. I call 'em like I see them.

Ron Swanson: Leslie! Even though I didn't invite you, you came here anyway. I respect that, because you made a choice as a free American.
Ann: What are you eating?
Ron Swanson: I call this "turf and turf." It's a 16-ounce T-bone and a 24-ounce porterhouse. Also, whiskey and a cigar. I'm gonna consume all of this at the same time because I am a free American.
Waiter: No cigars inside, sir.
Ron Swanson: Fine. I will smoke the entire thing outside. Even though it is bad for me, I am going to do it.
Ann: Why is he being such an ass?
Leslie Knope: It's a long story.
Ron Swanson: It's freezing outside, so I will not be smoking this cigar. But rest assured, I could if I wanted to, because this...
Leslie Knope: This is America, right? Is it?