Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] I just want this dinner party to go well. There are very few things I've asked for in this world. To build a new park from scratch. To eventually become president. And to one day solve a murder on a train. I think it's fair to add this to the list.

Justin: God, India is so amazing. Let me tell you something. That is my absolute favorite place to travel. Where did you say your parents were from?
Tom: Um, the south part.
Leslie Knope: The southern part's always the best part of anything.
Justin: Have you ever been to the Kaniman Mosque, down in Tamil Nadu?
Tom: Are you kidding? My uncle practically runs the place. I've prayed there. It's sick.
Justin: Tell me everything, right now.
Tom: One sec, I just got to hit the loo, as those bastard British lmperialists would say.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: The last time I was in India, I was eight years old and I stayed inside the whole time playing video games. I got to bone up. Fourth largest coal reserves in the world.

Ron Swanson: [aside to camera] When it comes to government hearings, the only type of witness I enjoy being is a hostile one. That's why I intend to answer every one of their questions with a question.
[later:]
Phil: Were you aware that all of the entertainment and food was provided by rec center teachers?
Ron Swanson: Would I have stayed if I knew that?
Phil: I don't know, would you have?
Ron Swanson: Would you have?
Phil: No. I wouldn't have. Did you hear Leslie make any promises?
Ron Swanson: What constitutes a promise?
Phil: A quid pro quo.
Ron Swanson: Oh. Do you know Latin?
Phil: Okay. Thank you, Ron.
Ron Swanson: Are we done?