Ron Swanson Quote #58
Quote from Ron Swanson in Tom's Divorce
Tom: I don't know what to do, man. I can't be like, "Hey, Leslie, it's a green card marriage, I'm fine."
Ron Swanson: You know, Leslie just thinks you're a wounded animal, so her female instincts are kicking in. Here's what you do. Act sad, let her pull the thorn out of your paw and wrap a bandage around it. That'll make her feel better. She'll get off your jock.
Tom: You still can't tell anyone about the green card thing. Apparently you can get in trouble even after a divorce.
Ron Swanson: Damn the man. Well, hey, your secret's safe with me.
Tom: Thanks, Rondoleezza Rice.
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Tom's Divorce’ Quotes
Quote from Ann
Tom: I'll have the surf-and-turf-a-saurus, and a couple of bottles of wine. I'm gonna need a lot of wine, so keep it flowing.
Ann: I'm not gonna be drinking anything. Just wanted everybody to know that.
[aside to camera:]
Ann: I'm not a big fan of group dinners where everybody splits the bill no matter what they get. I ordered a Tyranna-Caesar salad, and that's all I'm paying for.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: God! It is rough in here. Is it always like this?
Ron Swanson: I wouldn't know. Don't like strip clubs. Smells like a wet mop in here. And I get the feeling that every one of these women is running a low-grade fever.
Leslie Knope: You're one of the good ones, Ron.
Ron Swanson: Wait a minute. Hello, beautiful.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: Strippers do nothing for me. I like a strong, salt-of-the-earth, self-possessed woman at the top of her field. Your Steffi Grafs, your Sheryl Swoopeses. But I will take a free breakfast buffet any time, any place.
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: There is a great dinosaur-themed restaurant in Patterson. It is called Jurassic Fork. [Leslie laughs] I have gone there three times a week for the last 15 years.