Ron Swanson Quote #34
Quote from Ron Swanson in Ron and Tammy
Ron Swanson: So you talked to Tammy? What's it like to stare into the eye of Satan's butthole?
Leslie Knope: She's changed, Ron. She's a different person. I just, I think it would be healthy for you to get a sense of closure. Look at Mark and me. We slept together. We talked about it, we're still friends.
Ron Swanson: You slept with Brendanawicz?
Leslie Knope: No.
Ron Swanson: Look, Tammy and I don't work. We are oil and water. Or oil, and TNT, and C-4, and a detonator, and a butane torch. Nothing good will come... [stands up] Wait. She's here, isn't she?
Parks and Recreation Quotes
‘Ron and Tammy’ Quotes
Quote from Tom
Tom: Okay. I think you should play this one cool, man. Be the grown-up. Take the high road.
Mark: Yeah.
Tom: Ann's a classy chick. If you get down in the mud, you're just gonna lose her respect.
Mark: You've just made a surprising amount of sense, Tom. Thank you.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: I've never taken the high road. But I tell other people to. 'Cause then there's more room for me on the low road.
Quote from Ron Swanson
Leslie Knope: I see. I knew that you had two ex-wives named Tammy, so I was hoping that there was one that you got along with and...
Ron Swanson: Nope. I hate them both.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rushed to my side, so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time. Would I get married again? Oh, absolutely. If you don't believe in love, what's the point of living?
Quote from Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson: Of course. That bitch of an ex-wife is working for the library now. That is perfect. The worst person in the world working at the worst place in the world.
Leslie Knope: I have to go talk to her. And you got to give me something I can use. Does she have any weaknesses?
Ron Swanson: No.
Leslie Knope: What do you mean, no? Everybody has a weakness.
Ron Swanson: Not machines. I honestly believe that she was programmed by someone from the future to come back and destroy all happiness.