Andy Quote #45

Quote from Andy in Ron and Tammy

Ann: [aside to camera] I don't know. At least he finally has a real job. When we were dating, the only job he had was sending audition tapes to Survivor and Deal or No Deal.
[video, a shirtless Andy is in his backyard:]
Andy: Hi, my name is Andy Dwyer, and I would be a perfect contestant for Deal or No Deal. [guts a fish]

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 ‘Ron and Tammy’ Quotes

Quote from Tom

Tom: Okay. I think you should play this one cool, man. Be the grown-up. Take the high road.
Mark: Yeah.
Tom: Ann's a classy chick. If you get down in the mud, you're just gonna lose her respect.
Mark: You've just made a surprising amount of sense, Tom. Thank you.
[aside to camera:]
Tom: I've never taken the high road. But I tell other people to. 'Cause then there's more room for me on the low road.

Quote from Ron Swanson

Leslie Knope: I see. I knew that you had two ex-wives named Tammy, so I was hoping that there was one that you got along with and...
Ron Swanson: Nope. I hate them both.
[aside to camera:]
Ron Swanson: On my deathbed, my final wish is to have my ex-wives rushed to my side, so I can use my dying breath to tell them both to go to hell one last time. Would I get married again? Oh, absolutely. If you don't believe in love, what's the point of living?

Quote from Ron Swanson

Ron Swanson: Of course. That bitch of an ex-wife is working for the library now. That is perfect. The worst person in the world working at the worst place in the world.
Leslie Knope: I have to go talk to her. And you got to give me something I can use. Does she have any weaknesses?
Ron Swanson: No.
Leslie Knope: What do you mean, no? Everybody has a weakness.
Ron Swanson: Not machines. I honestly believe that she was programmed by someone from the future to come back and destroy all happiness.